Time to settle accounts

I’m going to write whatever comes to mind tonight. I have done a bit of reading, I found a new blog, it’s really interesting! I decided to go to J’s place before eating some chocolate and going off to bed. He just had to have dinner at my place. I only discovered today, that J can’t even heat a meal in the microwave. His stepfather, W, has told J many a time to thaw his frozen meal before heating it. But he, and no one else, can reason with J. J is severely intellectually impaired, worse than my friend K, to be honest.

J’s behaviour tonight was my last straw. He has two care organisations helping him. One of them isn’t funded by NDIS, the other one is funded. W, like me, is totally blind. He tries to help J as much as he can. But J really needs more help and support than he’s getting. If I hide, by preventing J from getting through to my phone, or disappear without saying anything to anyone, W will ring me and tell me that J is lonely… When will I be home? If I say oh I have no idea… W will say in the most upsetting tone, ‘Well, J has been chomping at the bit all day wanting to know when he can see you6’ I just can’t win. I feel like I’m not J’s or W’s friends at all, that they’re just taking advantage of me. W whines and moans about J’s other blind friend (J isn’t blind), yet if his friends don’t help him, W gets offended because he’s sick of listening to J whinge at him.

I feel that if I say something to the effect of ‘W, deal with J yourself, he’s your stepson’, and W rejects me and decides he isn’t my friend, that I won’t give a damn and that W was only ever my friend because he could get something out of the friendship. I hate people like that! It’s like W can’t be my friend unless he can use me for his own gain. I think I may have to block his and J’s phone numbers. I don’t think W is a true friend. He knows his stepson is mentally challenged but makes a hundred excuses not to be responsible for him while at the same time not giving a fuck about how J is affecting the rest of his neighbours! W doesn’t care if he’s not disturbed, but as soon as W has to put up with J, he acts hard-done-by as though J’s friends are deserting him and especially W, to make us feel bad for J. Yet W should be the one to feel bad, not the rest of us. W wants me and anyone else J begs assistance from, to feel bad for J just so W can feel good that he doesn’t have to be responsible for J, because then W doesn’t have to listen to J’s carrying on or put up with J’s behaviour, then he can admit that J has a disability and in the next breath, deny having to look after him. Fuck w! Fuck him so much!!!!!!! He’s a fucking selfish bastard and I shall block his number tonight! As I think about it, crying as well right now, I think W just pretends to be my friend just so I feel sorry for him. If W gets offended at me, I’ll just say to myself, oh well! W was never a true friend at all.

I rang someone who is a taxi driver and I told him all about what is going on. I did this like, an hour ago now, I think? Something like that. So I told the cab driver that he really needs to help me do something as soon as possible because I’ve sent an email to Centacare tonight. The cab driver said this was unbelievable. I said yeah of course it’s unbelievable, but it’s true! I find this situation to be ridiculous, not just unbelievable. J’s mental status is deteriorating, and when I told him tonight that he doesn’t need help from his neighbours because he has carer support, he got all upset and shouted NOOOOOOOOO! No! I texted W about this. No reply from him. What A stupid fucking dickhead! I’m sure W loves it when J hassles other people in different ways! It’s fucking all about fucking W feeling so Goddamned happy to be at peace because he knows J is upsetting me and other neighbours and fucking W gets upset/offended when we tell W to do something about J!!!!!!!! That’s it! I’m going to say what I have to say to W, and block him off. Then anything he says at me, I’ll take no notice of.

I’ve done it. I’ve just sent an angry text to W. He needs to hear it from someone. He has palmed J off to other people for as long as I’ve lived here and this has been two years. I’ve had enough of W crying poor and sympathy all the time when all he needed to do was ring up a care organisation and ask for help for J. W just wanted to get upset and make out that he couldn’t get help for his stepson just to get attention!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I won’t help those who don’t want to help themselves! J is disabled but he has carer support. W isn’t needy at all. He just won’t fucking ring J’s carers and let them know what’s going on. I just fucking can’t believe it has come to this! I guess I’ve learned not to take bullying lying down. I’m starting to hit back now It makes me feel like a bitch I suppose. But maybe I’m not being a bitch when I’ve tried to nicely point W in the right direction for almost two years and he won’t fucking listen, instead he makes a million excuses and claims I don’t understand whenever I tell the truth, that he needs to control his stepson. So tonight I did. I told him the truth, I told W to deal with J himself. I feel shitty now but I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. I just feel shitty because I became friends with this person who never really wanted a true friendship, he just wanted to take advantage of me and use me for what he could get. If you don’t sympathise with him, you’re the worst person on earth. I’m glad to tell you, now I am the worst person in W’s mind. And, I don’t give a fuck.

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