Rambling… Rambling… Rambling!

I’m in my room with my phone on the charger so I won’t run out of battery power while I write. I’m going to be writing up a storm, and some of this rambling on will be a little controversial for some viewers. God, how many times have I cautioned people of late? Oh well… I guess everyone who reads this blog will have a slightly different take on what I write, be it positive or negative. So to spare anybody any unnecessary grief, sometimes I let people know in advance to consider what they read because they’re guaranteeo stumble across something they disagree with or may not like to see, so I’m hoping most people would read my blogs with the knowledge that I’m not trying to raise anyone’s expectations. These are just my writings no matter how many facts or opinions or convictions I present.

With the usual bookkeeping stuff out of the road, I was checking out the App Store. I found a brilliant word count app. Go <a href=“Free Word Count by Curious Kiwi Co.

https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/free-word-count/id991265606?mt=8”>here</a&gt; to check it out. I only paid two bucks for it, I don’t know what the cost of US or Brittish pounds would be, sorry guys! But you can change the settings to suit yourself. It lets you count words and characters so you can use this app for whatever you want. I prefer to write in the notes app and copy and paste text in case something goes wrong. I like how you can get an idea of the time taken for someone to read your block of text. When I’ve done some of my entry, I’m going to paste it into the text box in this app, and I want to see how many words I actually manage to write up in these massive raving posts lol! Not that it really matters, but I get curious about things.

I had wheatbix and a cuppa a while ago. I took my vitamins which are a lolly form. I love how medication is turned into lollies and other sweets so you can’t tell from the taste that you’re taking medicine. The less stress, the better. I spoke to K for a while, then we decided not to go to the bakery today because of the weather. I’m out of money anyway, so I get more time to write and think so I’m happy to just sit around for now. My tongue ulcer is gone, and that virus thing that got me on Friday has gone away. So I’ll be walking to the shops every day again starting from Tuesday afternoon. I like to go to the library every Tuesday and Wednesday so I can read and listen to YouTube videos. Oh yeah, that reminds me I have to ring Guide Dogs tomorrow. On Wednesday I have to be up early for the plumber. No more putting up with disgusting crappy town water. The only reason the water is drinkable is because the water is treated with chemicals. The dirt isn’t even filtered out. You don’t notice the dirt because it’s dissolved into millions of atoms in the water, but you are guaranteed to find dirty stuff left behind if you evaporate the water. The chemicals make the water undrinkable as far as I’m concerned. The term ‘drinkable’ has a catch to it: you won’t get bacterial and viral infections from it. I can’t wait to drink chemical-and-dirt-free water on Wednesday. There’s a high chance I may go into shock from drinking so much because my body may not be used to such a large amount of fluid going into my system. So I may just make a couple of sandwiches to go with my cup of water. I tried purified water from my friend K’s place, and I couldn’t stop drinking it! I had three little cups (standard 250 mlkind). So when I’ve got my purifier installed, I’ll have to take it easy for three days because I will no longer have to force-feed myself e.g boiled water for cups of coffee and/or milo etc, pretending that ‘fresh’ water has medicine in it, then holding my breath as I force-chug it down… Yeah, the water is fucking disgusting! I don’t like drinking chlorine. The water is so chlorinated that it may as well be chlorine. And the texture of it is like drinking fucking metal, and it tastes so dirty, I could drink drain water and wouldn’t know the difference.

I’m testing my word count app right now and it’s awesome. I’ve got nearly 800 words in this post, there’s gonna be four times as many words by the time I’m done with it. Wow, I have so much to write about today that I don’t even know where to start! So I guess writing about my views on religion and morality may be a good start for now, and whatever else comes to mind as I’m writing will come more naturally. Usually my posts do turn out ok in the end. The Pope is just one aspect of religion that I’ll touch on here. What it comes down to is, it’s all a hype. The Pope may serve a lot of people well, but for me, he’s just another person with a list of beliefs he subscribes to. At the end of the day, we all adopt some type of belief system, whether it be philosophical or religious in nature. This is how we become who we are. I think most of uses religion and philosophy to excuse a lot of what we do. For example, we excuse suffering and cruelty while abhoring the very same thing in animals. We wouldn’t want our pet cat or pet dog to suffer, right? So we do everything in our respective power to comfort them. When we fail, we put them to sleep. Polite words for killing them. You can name death whatever you want, it’s still death. Yet when it comes to humans, our favourite deity forbids killing others when they suffer. People have come up with a lot of ideas about excusing cruelty.

1. When our beloved pet(s) can no longer cope with life, we euthanise them humanely. I do think that cruelly euthanising any living thing is wrong, by the way. But my point is, we euthanise our lovely animals if they suffer too much. We excuse allowing people to suffer by saying it’s God’s will to keep people alive. In other words, God is sadistic. He must like cruelty. Oh, God doesn’t like suffering because this… Because that… And because otherwise… It’s all about the groth factor, getting stronger with your current faith, learning something new, becoming enlightened. You can go on and on, really. So we make up a lot of wonderful excuses to paint pretty pictures over the cruelty we inflict on others, but will not allow our animals to be treated with such disrespect and unkindnes??? Please explain?

2. Religious leaders claim that euthanasia of people allows for medical people who subscribe to this practice, to target elderly and disabled people. Yes? Do we now think the same about our pets? Or is this just another excuse? In all walks of life, someone will deliberately do something wrong and will eventually learn that premeditating crimes doesn’t get you anywhere. The same goes for the medical profession. Doctors and veterinarians can use euthanasia for the wrong reasons, but this doesn’t make it entirely bad. Those particular medical people are bad apples, but euthanasia like any medical treatment, is beneficial if used correctly. So think of our animals. Oh and the humans as well.

3. Why is suicide not legal? Once again, religious excuses. Anyway, who gave the rest of the world the right to decide our destinies? The law essentially states that our world governments own our bodies. Well I’m here to say, no they don’t. It’s only illegal to commit suicide because it’s the only way for our local governing bodies to control us. In reality, so long as you’re not hurting anyone else, you can do whatever you want with your life. But as a society, we try to discourage suicide because we don’t want to miss the person we love so much. I don’t deny that myself. I don’t want people to kill themselves either. But at the end of the day, people have the right to end their lives whether we like it or not. The governments of the world have made suicide illegal, even though the law doesn’t come into it. I certainly don’t believe in encouraging suicide, that’s like killing someone. But I _o belief in the right to choose hen to die. I think there needs to be some control, like not killing yourself over a job loss or relationship break-up, but if it’s more serious than that, make your decision very carefully before _oing it. I’d say the same about euthanasia.

4. Governments decide on whether euthanasia is good or bad. Once again, when did God die and make anyone the boss of our lives? Sure, taking a person’s life just because you don’t like them is disgusting. But when someone is suffering and we say, ‘stay alive just for us’, we are just as disgusting. Unlike animals, people can make the choice to live or die, so if someone chooses to live, let them live peacefully and relieve their suffering as much as you can. But making laws and statutes just to keep people alive beyond their capacity to cope with their circumstances is cruel. I can’t think of another word for it.

No onto my other massive rant which has been cooking in my brain for like four days now. It just needed to wait for the right time to come out, I guess. Medical treat. Yes, the right to choose treatment options and the right to refuse treatment. For so many years now I’ve firmly believed in the right to accept or refuse medical treatment. I believe quality of life over quantity. If a medical treatment is going to ruin your quality of life, then you need to decide whether the treatment is for you or not. Me personally, I only accept treatments that will increase my quality of life. I won’t just take medication for the sake of treating an illness or a disease. I need to be comfortable while I’m on it, or it’s going in the bin. The doctors can label me as non-compliant until the cows come home. If they won’t help me with my quality of life, I’ll be even more non-compliant. I don’t take meds to ‘get well’. I take meds for as long as I’m comfortable on them, and getting well would be the main goal. But if medicine or other treatment options are going to make me crook, vomit etc, no thanks I’ll just live with my original problems until I find a treatment option that suits me. In an emergency situation it’s hard to be comfortable; you’re kept alive in the short term with whatever you’re given for the time being. Once the emergency phase is over, I want to get control over my medical treatment as quickly as possible. I don’t believe medication is for everyone. Some people tolerate different medicines better than others. At the end of the day, some people benefit from medication, some people don’t. As for any other medical treatments, there’s heaps of reasons why people may or may not accept medical care. Some people just can’t cope any more. Some people simply don’t want medical assistance and treatment because they don’t believe in doctors. It’s up to the individual at the end of the day. What I really detest are doctors who think they’re God and somehow know more than everyone else. So they may care enough about people to tell them to stop putting up with their issues and try to save everybody. That’s fine to feel that way, but please, we all have choices to make and we’ll accept treatments when we are ready! Me, you, anyone, that is. People don’t need a doctor to jump down their throat. I fear that my future doctor will freak out and use nice, smooth words to convince me to get thoroughly checked out because of a foreign doctor who tried to kill me by abandoning medical care without my consent. I guess he or she may give me so many incentives to accept their treatment avenues such as any specialist testing or some other type of treatment system. Well, I suppose if the doctor can keep me comfortable, then maybe I will work with them. I just don’t them to control and run my life.

It’s lucky I drafted this post because we did end up going to the bakery. This gave me, K and J to talk about things we didn’t want neighbours to hear. Now K is making a complaint about an incident that happened over the weekend and I came back home to make a hot chocolate for me and K. She’s at a neighbour’s place to get him to help write up the complaint. He’s a board member at this complex so he attends meetings and such, and this person helps people from time to time I found out from J just now that K is about to come over. Anyhow, we talked about a few things and then I asked J and K about what they think may happen when my new doctor discovers that I’ve been telling the truth all along and the other doctor has told lies in order to harrass my regular GP whom I don’t see any more. They were both shocaed like hmmmmmm!!!!????? Like, what!!!!! Yeah, the GP surgery I no longer attend will be in lots of trouble for hiring fake/incompetent doctors. A genuine doctor doesn’t consider someone to be untreatable just because opoiate products makes them crook and they need other meds with non-steroid painkillers. The doctors haven’t even tried every single opioid medicine with me yet, nor have they tested every single medication that would combat opioid side effects either. And if the docs do conclude that no opioid is safe for me to take including with general anesthetic, this still doesn’t mean I’m untreatable, it means I’d need a totally different class of all kinds of medicines. That is, Panadol capsules instead of tablets, Vitamin lolly form instead of a pill, and the list goes on forever. So I don’t need to ‘stay at home sick in order to die’ at all!!!!!!!! The new doctor will most probably find subcategories of opioids that will make me less ill or not sick at all. Not a problem for me, so long as medicine side effects are manageable, I’m ok with it. What I’m not ok with are doctors who over-treat or under-treat, and then bully their patients. What do these fuckwits think sick people are going to do!!!!!? Something is going to be sorted out with me and that’s what matters. The past is in the past now.

At least I can say I had a good afternoon. A few people are terrified about me in different ways, but I have plenty of things going for me this week and I have the blogging community to chitchat with every day, and I’ll eventually get my health care worked out better. And I love walking to the shops every day. This weekend I needed a lot of rest so I’m out of sync this week. And there’s also no point in going to the shops when I’ve got hardly any money to buy things. I drank two cups of hot chocolate, knowing that I’ve got a schedule for this week and I won’t feel like I’m isolated and stuck at home. And I need to keep up with my exercise routine now that I’m better. I need ways to keep myself from getting too sad and the only way to preoccupy myself so I don’t get flashbacks is to socialise with other people every day. I have to write in this blog too. I may take a break from writing sometimes, but usually I need to write every day. I’ll be cooking dinner soon which will relax me as well. I’ve given up on audio recordings for now though, most people don’t want to be accidentally recorded so I’ve just given up. The blind community around here knows when I’ve got my phone in use, so I just don’t take my phone out and record because people can hear voice-over. I rarely use headphones because they annoy me when I have to fiddle with them to do a good recording, so I just don’t do audio recordings. The people who can see a little, they can see my phone that it’s recording. So I just stick to writing. I’ll somehow sneak recordings in eventually. Besides that, I’m having a good evening, made sure the whole local community was in the know about my welfare – I wonder why? And I had a fun time socialising all afternoon. We pretty much discussed all the shit going on around here with some people slamming doors all the time and one of the neighbours swearing and shouting when other people are outside talking. The trouble-making bitch needs to leave so the rest of us can live in peace. I’m sick of hearing other people complaining about the inconsiderate woman. considering this tart hates noise from other people, she makes enough of it herself.

Well I’m feeling ok after having a nice sausage roll for lunch and heaps of hot chocolate. The weather is cooling down and my warm clothes are stopping me from getting cold. So I don’t need the heater on at the moment. I’ll be cooking tea soon and I’ll be reading through more blogs. I’ll wake up bright and early tomorrow. I have to ring Guide Dogs and get some more O and M lessons set up. It’s nearly September and I want to get this hairdresser route finished and I would love it if I could get used to the train network by Christmas so I can put my name down for a guide dog at the beginning of next year. I don’t have a problem with taking forever to get the dog because I don’t want the process to be rushed. But I _o want my name on the list as soon as possible. I’ll write about the whole process in great detail I think. I feel certain that even when I’m at the Guide Dogs training centre doing white cane training courses, dog guide courses to improve handling skills etc, I’ll find time to feed WordPress lol! That’s all I do is bloody write! I think next year will be so much fun for me. If the doctors get in my way, I’m going to tell them to fuck off except for if it’s an emergency. This does not include ingrown toenails or teeth procedures. The emergencies I’m talking about are broken bones, heart problems, severe stomach issues, severe dehydration, etc. A procedure to prevent problems down the road is not an emergency!!!!!!!!!! My left eye is an example of a non-emergency case. Yes it needs fixing, but it’s not urgent. I’m going to have as much fun as I can, and if I’m considered unfit, fuck the world I’ll just sit around at home. I’m sure it won’t turn into such a situation, I’m just concerned that Guide Dogs will be very busy and I may go to the bottom of the O and M list. The OT program is fine, I’ve got myself sorted there. What I am looking forward to this week is getting my water purifier set up and pizza night on Friday.

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