A quick update

My OT will be here soon. So I have to peel potatoes and slice them. It all sounds easy, but I’m very stressed right now. I don’t want to hurt myself or spill food in the oven when I put the potato bake in. I just don’t want an accident today. For people who don’t understand my situation, maybe I shouldn’t freak out, but you truly have no idea what I go through when I learn how to do things properly, especially if it’s a new situation. I’ve done potato bake before, but today I plan to do it properly. And now I’m panicking because I know how easy it is for me to get frustrated. I seriously loose it when I fuck up. I’ve never changed. Most of the time I do fairly well with living life, but sometimes I really go heywire. Medical people cause me to vomit, as in really vomit, so I can’t get a checkup or anything. I know this sounds disgusting but if I have to see a doctor next time, I’ll make myself vomit by thinking about all the bad parts of my life till I spew, just to be sent home. This is how much I hate doctors. Maybe one day I’ll get past it and visit a doctor without feeling sick. But not right now. I’d rather be unconscious or at home ill than see the doctor. Anyway, I’ve got to finish up so I can get my dinner ready. I’m not doing too bad at the moment besides some minor cold thing and also not sleeping good last night. Hopefully I do a good job with the potato bake and I hope I sleep well tonight! I know next year when I fill out paperwork for Guide dogs, I’ll be taking Panadol before I go to the doctors to settle my stomach. We’ll see how I go, I don’t have to allow the doctor to check me over. Anyway, I’ll write later, bye for now!


5 Responses to “A quick update”

  1. ortensia Says:

    I already read the next post so I already know what next😉


  2. manyofus1980 Says:

    I hope the potato bake turned out good! Thinking of you! xo


    • Michelle Says:

      Yeah potato bake was fantastic thank you! I’m going to eat the rest of it today. I’m going to cook sausages for dinner to have with the potato bake. I’m so happy with my Occupational Therapist, she has help me get through a lot of things! She has made everything about my unit A lot less scary. I still need help with certain chores from a different organisation but it least I know I can manage things in my little house without getting terrified of making mistakes or hurting myself!!! I like how I’m not considered slow when I prepare food and cook because it’s better to not be in a rush. I don’t like spending all day in my kitchen but I know I’m not going to hurt myself if I don’t try to hurry with everything. My OT believes in doing things at your own pace of course, but don’t do things in a real hurry as fast as possible. Just do everything comfortably and if you have to go slow, that’s how it is. This is becoming a ramble now but I’m just so bloody happy with how yesterday worked out for me. And I slept very very well! I’m making potato bake again next week. Now that I can manage myself a lot better, life is actually fun!

      Liked by 1 person

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