Ranting and weather

I’m having a great morning so far. I set up my fridge so I can cook food in the ovnen for the next couple of days while I steam the vegies that need to be used up urgently. I’m sure I must be doing something wrong when I use the oven. I warned J to let some people know that if my smoke alarm goes off tomorrow, it means I’m cooking chicken legs in the oven and not to worry. I’m going to try turning the chicken legs after 40 minutes, then leave them for another 40 minutes, on 200 degrees C. So if the heat and/or odours become a bit smoky, the alarm will trigger. I hope it won’t, but I need to work in the kitchen all the time so I can tell my OT what I’m struggling with most of the time. Maybe it won’t be so difficult to cook chicken if I can actually get the timing right haha! This is when I really hate cooking a lot! But I like cooking most of the time now because I know how to cook a few different meals. I’ve got a lot of frozen meals still, so if I need a break from cooking for a week or two, I won’t go hungry.

The support left my place half an hour ago. So since then, I’ve been reading through a lot of blogs. I found this post which reiterates my point about writing about controversial topics. If you want my opinion on the subject of writing posts, well first, write what you want. It’s your blog. I do the same, I just write. Secondly, if people want you, or me, or anyone else to consider deleting posts, forget it! People have no right to decide what you can and can’t do with your blog. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. It’s the same with comments. Instead of growling at someone to stop writing nasty comments, use the delete button provided. Otherwise, just let it go. I’ve had people in the past tell me to delete comments and posts. You know what? It’s all about who you give your power to. Just don’t give your power to anyone who tries to control you. I don’t listen to people who don’t me to keep my blog site either. I don’t need a boss to run my life. And to those who’d insist or demand others to change their posts or whatever, please stop it! You don’t own other people, if you think you can make a better blog than someone else, go ahead and make your own blog site. And if you don’t like what someone says, making them feel so bad as to delete their site isn’t helping anyone. All I will say is, stop bullying people and let them be. They aren’t harming anyone else, so maybe you should butt out and leave the blog sites. As for me being vulnerable and some people might be nasty to me, look! There are nasty people everywhere! And my vulnerability depends on the situation I’m in. I’ll probably get bullied or attacked even if I don’t have a blog site. Or maybe I won’t get attacked. But if all I did was look for a devil behind every tree, I’d stop breathing, I wouldn’t leave my couch, I’d leave the phone off, I’d bloody die! If all anyone wants to do is scaremonger me, it ain’t gonna work with me. Not that everyone is like that… I’m just sayin’.

I’ve got all afternoon free. Tonight I’m cooking a meal for myself. I find it difficult to cook for other people as well as myself. K, the lady I’ve discussed a few times – she’s a picky eater so I don’t want to go out of my way to feed her. She has carer support, let them feed her. I’m not anybody’s carer. I’m also not a restaurant business. So I don’t have to do anything for anybody. I’m also not obliged to help anyone, I just choose to help people sometimes. So I’ve got the afternoon free, so I may just walk to the shops. I like to sit around for a while, but then I get bored and I just can’t sit still for ever4 It’s too fucking difficult for me, I need to be on the move all the time. I’ll put my phone on the charger for a few minutes before I leave. I want full charge so I can stay at the library for at least two hours. I love to use the Wi-fi to do a lot of Internet browsing, and reading. My iBooks app milks data if I attempt to read an entire book in one sitting, so I’ll keep reading time for the library so I can drain the Wi-fi instead! Plus I never get distracted there, so I can easily read for bloody hours and I’d never be disturbed except by the announcement for closing time. Maybe that’s what I’ll do: read for three hours then listen to some YouTube videos, then catch a taxi home if it’s too cold to walk.

I went to J’s place and will be going to the shops tomorrow. His carer was there and V, his ugly girlfriend, was at home where she belongs. At least I don’t sit on my bum hole all day and be a burden to everyone else. Oh well, that’s her, she wonders why nobody likes her. She’s deluded and twisted in the head. So are some others who live and work here. Ah well. I have my own life and that’s the main thing. I didn’t come here for everyone to walk all over me. I’m not a bloody door-mat. It’s nice and cool now so I’m not going to turn the heater on yet. I’ve got all the windows open, I need air to circulate through this unit so it doesn’t go mouldy and stinky. I had a good meal when I got home from J’s place and now it’s nearly a quarter past five tonight and I’m relaxing. I was talking to J’s carer about cooking chicken today, and she said I don’t cook it at a high enough temperature, that’s why it has a soggy texture and strong flavour to it, like it needs a lot more temperature to really cook it in the middle. So tomorrow when I get home from the shops, I’m going to try baking chicken legs, and if the smoke alarm goes off, so be it. It’s not like I cause the smoke alarm to go off on purpose. I think they’re good for actual fire situations, but it goes off so many times unnecessarily that sometimes I want to rip it off the wall and destroy it. I believe smoke alarms serve a purpose, but in small units they’re just a hassle and waste of time. Hopefully this time, I’ll achieve that evenly cooked texture right through the chicken legs. I ate two chicken wings today and they were perfect, crispy but not burnt, or dry! They were cooked just right. I’ll see how I go tomorrow, but I’m determined to cook the perfect chicken. And if the stupid smoke alarm starts, I’ll tell the neighbour to smash it. I can’t stand fucking crappy noise. For God’s sake, sometimes smoke comes off food, it’s just how it is when you deal with very hot food. At least I haven’t given up yet. I don’t plan to either, I like to do things myself.

I have to get a new set of measuring spoons tomorrow I’m chucking the other ones when I bring the new ones home. If anyone fucking touches my kitchenware, I’ll friggin’ scream. Everyone knows I can’t see, and I don’t want my stuff to go missing because nobody gives a shit! Well, I do give a shit and this is not going to continue! Every time some people come in here, my stuff goes missing. Now I am nasty and save for three people who haven’t misplaced/thrown anything away, I’ll pretend to not be home. I’m sick of the crap. So not only did I have to replace a can-opener, I have to get a new measuring spoon set. If it wasn’t for a lot of crappy unit blocks around, I’d be moving somewhere else. And if people don’t like where I move, then stay away. I don’t care. Transport isn’t an excuse, it’s obvious to me that people are lazy and won’t make the effort to visit me, so why should I visit them? ‘Oh, if I have to get a cab, I won’t come around6’ That’s fine, if I was a real friend, you’d come around anyway. If you have a tight budget, that’s different. But if you’d rather not waste money on a taxi when you could easily come over, then goodbye to you. Real friends make some compromises from time to time. Some people won’t spend money od a taxi but they will gladly waste petrol money by expecting family members to take them everywhere. You can’t get anything for free, you know!

I can’t wait till next Friday now! I’m checking out a water purifier and will probably buy a new TV as well. And while I’ve got the opportun


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