28 December, 2016 14:38

At this time tomorrow I’ll be on the train. I really can’t wait till then, I’m so extremely excited and impatient today! I hate living here, Cairns is fantastic but I hardly ever see the family and my controlling grandparents aren’t pleasant to hang around. They’ve done a lot of good things for the family, but the other side of the coin is, they’ve also been very hurtful and manipulative. Stupid bloody bastards! So yeah, they’re not part of my life anymore. If they harrass me over the phone I’m gonna tell them to quit it and hang up. They expect favours from the whole world after they treat everyone like shit. So tomorrow I’m out and severing ties. And once a year or two I’ll come back to Cairns to visit my other family members.

Another boring day for me today. I’ve done not one healthy activity for the past three weeks. Neglect and abuse right there. The only difference is that some people take their victims into the forest and allow them to die slowly. My grandparents are feeding me enough to survive, but every other aspect of my life is neglected. They don’t care about my welfare, it wouldn’t bother them if I never moved. Their concern about me is that I’m blind and my death will just be a simple thing. Everybody dies. So dying early is just the disabled thing to do, because blind people fit into the disability basket, according to them. But I won’t die early. And my neglect is only short-term. Sitting around like a statue for three weeks isn’t quite so bad, and eating little morsels with the occasional big feed won’t technically harm me badly. But living like the way I have been, for a really long time, is cruelty. I’ll get back to normal pretty fast, I haven’t lived here long enough to cause a lot of damage. I won’t need permission to stay alive, eat drink breathe be a grown woman etc. When thea grandparents see me off, I’m not returning any favours or owing them anything. They certainly haven’t done me any special favours. Moving isn’t a favour. Everybody moves out at some point. If they’re not helping me, they’re controlling and bullying. They can never be happy or appreciative of the fact that I’m moving to a better part of town and they’re not happy people full-stop. So I won’t help them in return for their fucking bullshit ungrateful attitude. I only respect people who respect me.

In Brisbane I’m gonna set up my unit as quick as I can, then I’ll write up a list of Christmas goodies to make next week. I’ll be organising a gathering of friends and making a feast for them. Then I’ll be enrolling myself into some blind sports elubs. I’ll make my choices when I get there, I know I want to play Swish, it’s the modified version of table tennis. I’ll do some demos on Audioboom. As for other games, I have no idea what I’ll go after yet.

I’m back at this blog. I had coffee and chocolate cake, then listened to my tyrant of a grandfather talking absolute shit for an hour. Typical anti-semitic who needs poisoning as far as I’m concerned. But anyway… That’s him. I don’t care if I never see the stinkin’ douchbag again. I’m basically keeping a low profile as much as I can. Obviously I need to sit at the dinner table sometimes, but geeze! Living with two communist wannabes isn’t my thing I must say. I guess I’m too friggen democratic for my own good lol. I don’t agree with just doing as you want in a horrible selfish manner. You can’t go from one extreme to the other. But when it comes to living, well Jesus! You can’t live like a robot can you? Anyway, I’ll be outa dodge tomorra! I’ll let my grandparents know that I’ve got my stuff posted to me. After that they’re bust as far as I’m concerned. That’s it about them. I’m planning on having a great time, anything bad can happen anywhere so I’ll just keep my wits about me but hopefully all will be well. What I will do tomorrow is, eat the train out of house and home. I’ll eat some of my biscuits and all of my malteesers, then I’ll go after all the food in the deli car. It’s highly likely that the staff might try to convince me not to over-buy the food in case of wastage, but I’ll try to get menu choices which I know I’ll eat a tonne of without a problem. Anyway we’ll see how it goes, I’m gonna turn my trip into a minature holiday and a bloody feast. Anyone would think that I’m going to the moon or something! But oh well, good times ahead for me.

It’s a bit over a week now since I moved. I left Cairns on the 14th of December and got into Brisbane on the 15th. Then the old bloke who greeted me, he was so trashy, totally changed from the trustworthy person he used to be. After he left for the evening after helping me take my luggage to my unit, I decided to cut him out of my life. His shameful behaviour made me feel that he doesn’t deserve my time let alone a breath of fresh air. So fucking sad really! Oh well, I’ve made other friends since moving in here. Tomorrow I have to ring Coles Customer Care so they can fix my shopping delivery address, that’s my only issue here. Besides that, I feel great about moving here. The other units that Chass and Hailey live in are nice too, they’re just not as done up as these ones. As much as Public Housing allows pet ownership, I’d personally rather live in a very well-kept unit with only a service animal and no pets. I do love animals but I also love a good home. And the rent is subsidised here, so it’s a lot cheaper than Public Housing units yet the units here are better quality! I have to finish writing now, the phone is really hot.

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