My day

I haven’t done a whole lot of late. I was planning on going out but it’s too hot outside and I’m having a mental health day. I guess I can wake up and go out as soon as I finish eating breaky. I hate having to wait for buses, but I don’t have a lot of money for cabs so I don’t have other options. The prices of everything are going sky high as well, which doesn’t help much. I’d love to take Troy out each day, but while I’m at it I also need food and water. Nothing can take this away from me. Otherwise, I may as well stay home because I have nothing better to do with my life when I go out anyway. I think I need to start just living for me only, going out every single day is boring when I can’t pay for entertainment, and it’s high time I bloody well controlled how often I go out. What if I need money but don’t have it because I love partying all the time? Sometimes I think that giving myself a break from guide dog training for a few years might just be a good thing. I won’t have to use my cane if I can rely on others to help me get around most of the time. If it wasn’t for me owning a guide dog, it wouldn’t be mandatory to use my cane. Try to tell me differently and I’ll shoot anyone down in flames. It’s my choice when I will and God damn won’t use my cane. If people don’t like that, there’s the door.

I’ve been reading a heap of iBooks lately! The iBooks app is so much better than the Kindle app. To add insult to injury, I can’t use the Amazon site anymore for updating my payment details. So bugger it, Amazon is gone too. Bring on Apple! As for friendships, I dumped three friends yesterday. I’ve come to realise that in different ways, they’re all there for me when it suits their agenda, other than that I hardly hear from them. So fuck them, either be my friend all the time or get fucked. Obviously I didn’t want to be waited on by them every single day, but basically, if I have to feel bad when I don’t answer calls yet I can never call them and get respect or sympathy when I eventually worry about these friends not answering my calls, well I don’t know – I fucking can’t tolerate that shit. I can’t be friends to people who only want my friendship and won’t give me any of their friendship. What do the morons expect? I can only endure shit patiently for so long, so many years. Let’s just say I’m so glad dogs are man’s best friend. Besides how frustrating dogs can be, I still don’t get let down by them. Troy isn’t the only dog who will make me really angry very rarely, but all the guide dogs are awesome, besides when they rip into things when I’m not around. I now tether Troy to his bed if he stays home every single time I go out, I don’t trust him at all. I’ll never entrust a dog to free running my place alone anymore, not ever.

I had to interrupt this blog because I suddenly got ready to go out. I’m now at the shopping centre. I’m sitting at a cafe on a lounge suite. I’ll be getting another bus soon. I wish I could just cab it home, but this won’t work out till I have more money. All I want to do is frigging party. All this staying home all the time is fucked. It’s boring not paying for entertainment, but it’s also flaming boring at home too. At least I’m getting some jam drops and coke into me. I can say it’s better than sitting at home, but at the same time I can just as easily take snack foods home as well. But one plus is that I don’t have to pay the electricity bill for air-conditioning if I’m at the shops. I know Troy loves going out all the time, but he isn’t the only one who needs to be entertained. I didn’t go out all day for different reasons, and it just had to happen that I felt better when it was too late to plan a nice trip into town. I’ll have to go out tomorrow. As for eating, for the rest of the week I’ll be pretty much emptying out the cupboards and the fridge. I thought those vegetable bags were working for me, but every two weeks I still have a shit load of vegies to chuck out. The green bags keep vegies fresh for longer my fucking foot! That’s a load of bolox. I’m gonna let the support worker know too, when she turns up on Friday. And don’t get me started about how disgusting the so-called fresh produce is at the supermarkets. Yeah right, I’ll only be going to the fruit and vege shops and Peconnies IGA from now on. World War 2 if anyone tries to make me change. I want fresh food, not rotten crap. Talking of shops, I love this cafe! The staff knows how to have fun and they’re way helpful! I’ll be coming here every day next week. I couldn’t love it here more than I do. It’s so relaxing.

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