I’m really tired, but since I’ll be talking to some person on the phone in an hour’s time, I thought I’d write for a while. I’m using the wireless keyboard so I can type way faster. I haven’t done much this past week. I did most of my washing today, so tomorrow I don’t have to worry about nothing. Then on Sunday I’ll do my housework since I can’t stand dirt and shit everywhere. I’ll read my books too, I want to clear my head before Monday comes around. I’m gonna frigging ring Centrelink and cancel one of the disability organisations if they can’t get the dickheads to do their jobs properly. Saying they expect family members to help me, isn’t very fucking supportive on their part. So if Centrelink can’t do anything, I’m demanding a cancellation since I’m not spending my money on some arsehole who doesn’t want to assist me. I can do my own bloody shopping!!!!!!!😭😁 I can’t fill out my own forms though, if only they’d frigging fucken realise that!!!!!πŸ˜” I’m soooooooooo pissed off at this damned organisation. Soooooo fricken angry!!! I bet when this flaming mole of a disability coordinator rings back, I’m giving them a piece of my mind and telling the dog to shove his policies where the sun doesn’t shine. He’s not my cup of tea, and if he thinks I’ll just LET him allow his support workers to discriminate whenever they feel like, then he’s kidding around, or has terrible news coming to him if he’s not. I’ll give him “paperwork is very personal information so support workers don’t have to do it”. He’ll be personally losing a customer soon.

Besides trying to stay sane and trying really super duper God damn flaming hard to stop myself from jumping off my roof, life has been pretty boring. I’ve been letting every anxiety issue under the sun keep me from chilling out. Man I used to read Braille books all day, now I can’t even open one up because I’m distracted by absolute shit. I guess this’ll be changing tomorrow, since it ain’t the end of the world if I wake up, eat breakfast and drink a coffee, then possibly read for three hours, instead of letting housework distract me. I’m sure reading over a few cuppas or cold cokes will be a much better passtime than worrying about crap, and about people who only care about themselves. And honestly, some people I know have no care in the world if I don’t wake up in the morning. So besides not being concerned about their welfare either, why should I die just to make them happy, when I could be living life making myself happy, knowing that said persons would want me dead but can’t handle seeing me happy without them in my life? If some people are so miserable because I’m alive even though they don’t have to even look at me again, then they’d be better off killing themselves tonight. I’m a strong believer in wishing people would just put themselves out of their misery if they hate me so much. Just don’t expect me to die with them. As for these persons who I know, don’t ever come near me again. Farewell and I don’t care if anything happens. I’ve already disowned a few people because I can’t stand being treated like a cripple or a dog, and also because of how horrible some humans can be. Since I want a peaceful life, all the peaceful people should be part of my life so all the other mutts can rack off. I’m leaving Cairns in a few years, then renewing my Facebook page. There you have it.

My lovely dog is still doing fine. I will never wish any harm on him, he won’t be let go of from my heart, even though soon I’ll be getting a new dog and won’t be able to keep him anymore.πŸ˜”πŸ˜žπŸ˜’ It’s too sad to think about. So I’ll just relax tonight and write my heart and soul into this lovely blog. I’m really happy I’m still writing in it after so many years. I don’t ever want to quit writing.

I’ve got Vision Australia on Tuesday. I’m happy to keep going there!!!!! I get a break from this frayed world for three or four hours, possibly more, every Tuesday and Thursday. When I’ve finished studying, I’m packing up and I’m moon-flitting. I won’t be coming back here again. My lovely puppy will be coming with me. He deserves more respect than almost everyone I know.πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‰πŸ˜š Stacey deserves the most respect out of every person I have ever known, besides some family members of course. Outside the family, Stacey gets more respect from me than everyone else ever will!β˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈβ˜ΊοΈπŸ˜‰ She’s the best friend I’ve ever had!!!!!!!πŸ˜„ The next person who gets a lot of respect is the care-taker of Braille house. He was really good with helping me sort through Braille books and a few other jobs while I was working there as a volunteer so I learnt the ropes pretty quickly and was standing beside this person for long hours, carefully sorting the books into correct order on the shelves. Also proof-reading some of them, a monthly magazine, sewing book binders together etc. What lovely memories!πŸ˜„πŸ˜‰ I’m hoping to be volunteering at Braille House again soon enough. I hate the sighted world, they don’t have any respect for people with disabilities even though they may say differently. I don’t want to work for people who don’t care about anyone anyway. So yeah, the day I get to work for disability sectors again, mainly the vision impaired sector because of course I’m blind myself and know how to help such people best and would like to do my job with a lot of honesty and goodwill, – the day I work in the disability sector again, will be a day I won’t ever look back from. If anyone I know wants to get upset because of their selfish motives of wanting me to get nowhere in life so they won’t have to miss me, then to hell with them! They don’t love me that bloody much. It’s all good, I actually want to live for myself, I’ll stay here for as long as I want, then I’m frigging off and I’m dead to whomever hates me. Those who love me may miss me, but I hope they realise I’m just trying to make myself comfortable, happy and fulfilled, normal things that every aspiring person would want.


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