A rainy weekend

I’ve just baked the most delicious banana cake ever! This one took one and a half hours to bake through, but it was so nice I ate almost half of it! I won’t be eating that much all at once again. I made a coffee too, so I guess with my bloated stomach it’ll take ages to drink. I don’t care less, I like my food and coffee and it never occurs to me that greed is bad until it’s too late but oh well. It’s my choice to be greedy, and I guess I’ll never learn. Let’s hope I don’t eat too much for dinner tonight, that is if I do eat! I’m making honey mustard chicken stir-fry with rice, and I love that. So Christ only knows how I’ll be after I eat. My greed has taken control of me I think. I was gonna open my packet of chips, but right now isn’t the right time. Damn it! I like chips too. But I’ll just concentrate on this blog and on drinking my coffee. I just don’t care about my eating habits till they start hurting me. It’s not as if I’ve woken up in the morning, hoping I’ll try to hurt myself by intentionally eating too much. I just don’t care or consider that my eating habits are bad till I start feeling horrible, and that’s when I care. But it’s too late to turn the clock back and start again.

I laid around all day with my iPhone, reporting a stalker on the VI Facebook group I’m with. Stacey had to make a report on a similar person too, so we both got rid of two people! This person I’d reported, well about two or three months ago, I blocked him because he was being disgusting. He suddenly appeared on my news feed out of nowhere, I found a status he’d written yesterday. I got startled because I don’t recall unblocking him. So whatever he did, caused my FB settings to not recognise him. I could swear black and blue that some people pretend to be VI or blind just so they can join this VI support group. These situations were dealt with so I’m happy. I texted someone for two hours so they could report this stupid creep too, which was nice of them. This person made sure me and Stacey were ok. Then after the Facebooking and texting stopped, I baked my delightful cake and am now getting over being very greedy while writing this blog. I’ll stay at the laptop for a while, drink my coffee, then if I’m up to it, open my packet of chips and read my Braille books. I’ll cook dinner later if I’m hungry enough, but if not I guess I can cook it tomorrow. I’ll just read for the rest of the night I reckon. It has been raining a lot so I haven’t been outside much except to let Troy outside every so often. I presume it’ll rain on and off all day tomorrow so I’ll stay home all day again. I’ve got two dozen books to read so I won’t get bored very soon. I’m all set for the next week and a half until I get another pay check. I was meant to get dog food this week, but with having to buy a container for washing powder so the powder doesn’t keep going damp on me, and a new pair of three-quarter length pants, I won’t be getting any food till the next pension comes in. Troy’s vaccines are a high priority so I may just have to miss shopping for that week, or just buy the bear minimum of essential stuff. I may just get stuff from the IGA store so I’m not paying a thirteen-dollar delivery fee for just a few things. It’ll be cheaper to just get it from the shops. I won’t need much anyway since I’ve got a lot of tinned stuff and meat in the freezer. I’ll see how I go. I’ll take Troy to the vets, buy a few clothes because my lot of clothes is starting to get old, and then I don’t know what else I’ll do. I know I have to keep a fair bit of money aside for lawn mowing since every man wants more than twenty dollars for it. My brother knows how to lie to me doesn’t he? Bullshit it’s cheaper to live in Cairns! It’s fucking not.

I don’t know how I’m gonna entertain myself for the next while. I want this rain to fuck off, I seriously thought the rain season was about to end. Now the rain has come back with a vengeance. I hope we’re not getting a cyclone. I’m hoping that after this rain spell, the autumn season will be here with less rain. I can’t wait for the winter! I like it when it gets cold especially at night. I also like walking, so going out more often will be really good. Troy works a fair bit now, so I’m not too worried about that anymore. I’m more concerned about having to stay home for more than a week because of rain. The other thing I did want to mention before I forget, is that two days ago I did an online Guide Dogs survey. It was to do with guide dog distractions. I made it clear that there’s too many people who see the animal side of a dog, but not the working side. I thought the survey was really good, so I hope there’ll be more of them in future! Hopefully changes will be made to make it easier for guide dog handlers to navigate around the world with their dogs.

I still feel like shit so I think I’m just having soup for tea. I’ll put the chicken in the fridge. Damn my fucken greed! I will still eat my chips, but not till a bit later on. I have heaps of tinned soup in the cupboard, I’m buying more tinned soup in a couple of weeks anyway. I’ll also be stocking up on biscuits and chips, and of course the washing powder. Now that I’ve got that big container, I’ll buy big heaps of the stuff and pack it full. I figure keeping most supplies in stock all the time means I can keep saving money. Cool! I reckon I’ve got the spending and bullshit worked out. I need to get more clothes too, so I’ll slowly put what I need in my wardrobe so I won’t spend too much at once. In two months I should have money saved up for the freezer and more shorts and T-shirts. After I get the freezer set up, I’m spending the next month packing it full with my food and frozen raw food for Troy. Then I’ll switch his diet and life should be set for a while. I really hope I’ve got work by the end of the year! I know Cairns has one of the highest employment rates, but employers are good at treating blind people like animals and belittling them too. I personally reckon that all the education that is supposedly happening, is a waste of time. Don’t tell me that attitudes about blind people working are changing unless what you’re telling me is provable. Most employers want sighted people with no flaws. If they do have a health condition, that condition cannot affect their work life at all unless the doctor can prove that whatever issues the person has doesn’t cause loss of job performance. If you’re disabled, you’re useless to people. It’s hard to accept, but being made to feel useless is like being told you’re unfit to live in society. You can live if you want, but be aware that you have very little purpose, or whatever potential you do have is minimised. People will be happy to say how good it is that your minimal purpose is worth something because either you won’t be assisted to maximise your purpose in life, or the people saying all this shit just don’t want you to have a purpose, so will try to say how good you are as a worthless person. That’s my take on this. Now it doesn’t mean that if you don’t have a purpose, that you shouldn’t try to find one. It just means you shouldn’t have anything to do with people who want to minimise you or try to stop you from developing your potential to do things.


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