Following from the other day’s entry

I tried to write a blog in my phone, but the fucking damn thing won’t let me publish them through Safari, the app is crap! So I’ll write one on this laptop, then if I want I can try to write and publish another one on the phone again one day. I like my phone mostly, but some things are so frigging primative for technology these days. Today was productive for me. I went to the city with Stacey this morning. I don’t plan to go exploring again because I absolutely hate feeling lost and totally helpless like that. I won’t accept another situation like that again. All I can say is, if I don’t know the area, I won’t even try to navigate my way around it. I was glad to be getting back on a bus and going to a good little shopping centre for lunch. I had my usual meatballs and salad on bread roll that I got from Subway, and my usual bottle of coke. We got another bus and I got a few things at the IGA store and butcher. We came home and I cooked us some sausages and made sandwiches! They were soooooooooooo yum! There’s a couple of sausages left for tomorrow. I’m definitely having a sausage and gravy sandwich for lunch. I won’t be doing anything tomorrow, so I’ve planned lunch already before tomorrow has even started. I’m glad some of these days can be that easy.

On Friday I have to sort a few things out with my carer. I have to go to Pet Stock and get prices of flexy leads so I can invest in one because the dog seriously needs exercise! I totally hate how my neighbours can assume that since their dog can’t live on the property, that my dog isn’t allowed to run around. Well, I agree that the guide dog does enough work that it doesn’t need to run every single day just to survive or stay healthy. My issue is that it still needs some free-running. So me and the guide dog trainer decided on that compromise, in which case I told her that I wasn’t concerned about the neighbours and their ways of acting up when I exercise my dog. I’m more angry at the neighbours, the fucking idiots that they are, for trying to boss me around however they can. Of course they haven’t been able to, but at the same time, I think I have the right to be angry at people who I hardly know because they choose to try to cause trouble when all I want to do is mind my own fucking business. Lately they’ve been not too bad, but if they start their shit when I get my exercising routine with Troy going again, I’m going to start my shit. I so can’t wait to get this God damn leash. I’ll be able to take Troy anywhere for his running around and games. When I do my window shopping, I’m gonna get a few things and then come home. We should be right for the weekend. I won’t be buying a whole lot of shit next week, I need to put money aside for Troy’s vet check in a few weeks. After that, it’s Christmas! Hopefully I won’t go too broke… The best bit is that I’ll actually be enjoying myself this year instead of pretending to feel good while I take so many drugs. I’m so glad this year is behind me. It has gone faster than the last one, but some months of this year have felt like years. If there’s one thing I could change about this year, it would be that my eye wouldn’t have been removed and that it wouldn’t have been diseased to start with. That way I wouldn’t have wanted it removed. I wanted my eye to go because of how painful and horrible it felt, and my facial dystonia and other problems that came about from that shit. I seriously couldn’t wait for the surgery to happen. I regretted every side effect known to man, except for maybe the intensive care unit stuff, but I didn’t regret my eye going to God. However, if I could change this scenario, I would. Honestly, I thought last year’s sick episodes were disgusting and bad. Yeah they might have been. But this year was worse really. Except that I was so sedated from medicines after that that this worst sick issue only happened for a few minutes instead of four hours. Ok, so I was in a terrible mood all day. But I wasn’t spewing ALLLLLLLLLLL day! I totally lost faith with every doctor in town since then, but now they’re trying to win me over with jokes and laughter. Yeah sure. My faith ain’t gonna come back now. I’ve got my mostly good life. I want to keep it.

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