I haven’t done much today. I was gonna go for a walk but it was way too hot, so I got a cab to and from the shops. I freaked out because I thought the grocery store wouldn’t sell my favourite shampoo, but they do! I onlly needed a bottle of conditioner, so I got that. Hopefully by the time I’ve used up the shampoo, the conditioner should be almost gone and I can get the normal shampoo of this brand, instead of the itchy scalp one. I just wanted this one because my hair is growing back after it was cut short, and it had so much God damn flaky skin through itd! It was yuck. So my scalp is pretty healed up good now. It just needs another month of massaging with this shampoo and I’ll get the other kind of the same brand. I made sure to get milk too, I hate running out of milk! I then went to Jill’s but they weren’t home, so I gavve them fifteen minutes and then I left, after doing a bit of banking. I had some back-up money so I put that in my everyday account so I have enough money for rent and groceries yea! But unfortunately I can’t do much else with it until I save up a lot more. Hopefully Stacey is coming up here in November so I can’t wait to show her around Cairns a bit! I’ve talked her into accepting cab rides sometimes, which I think she has taken to very well. I’ve also gotten her to accept that a quick cab ride to the fish and chips shop and back won’t be too much of a big deal because of how nice the taxi drivers are. Pizza or fish and chips, whichever take-away shop really. It is soooooo God damn easy to book a cab and they turn up within fifteen minutes at the max. I have to be ready so fast after making the booking. So yeah, Queensland taxis are the best.

I got in touch wiht one of my frenemies from high school. My frenemy isn’t such an enemy anymore. We had been friends as kids, then developed enmity for one another as teenagers. I don’t know exactly how it all started, just that one day we got sick of each other’s teenage antics, so we hated one another. I also made fun of her, hoping harm would come to her. Now I feel like absolute shit over it, so I’m her friend now. Oh well. Life happens! At least we’re talking over Facebook, so things are on the right track for now. She went to hospital yesterday so I kept her cheerful for as long as I could today. She’ll be getting out of there tomorrow. Yea! I will be going to “jail” for three hours on the fifteenth, so pray to God that I won’t be locked up! I wouldn’t mind it except that I happen to love (sarcasm), spewing up everywhere and making sure that everyone has the hardest time cleaning up afterwards, and the most difficult time consoling me. Yep, and the worst time trying to convince me that no, not every mouthful of food will taste like vomit. I’m truthfully surprised that I haven’t needed a feeding tube yet. As much as my eating isn’t that seriously bad, the fact that I can be told to eat, and I simply ignore encouragement and cajoling, is something that can lead to needing a feeding tube if necessary. My biggest issue with that is, I hate foreign material touching my throat, so the doctors would have to surgically implant a tube into my intestines if they think they’re going to get anywhere with me, since they’d seriously like to watch me chuck a fit, and clean up after my phlegmy crap after exhausting myself for hours to keep getting rid of the tube. Not! Add nausium to that, IV fluids which will only keep me alive but not heljp me get better, until the problem causing my violent rejection of tube behaviour, is resolved by getting rid of the feeding tube. That’s how much I hate feeding tubes and anything else that touches my throat. I even spewed up when I took endone one time, even while the intramuscular nausea shot they gave me, was still in my system. So don’t tell me that strong tablets or other drugs stops vomiting, because they don’t. They may make the severity of vomiting a lot less, but they don’t stop it totally, except if you let me sleep the medications off. But nobody ever really does that because so long as they don’t feel my pain, everything is ok according to them. So yeah, I’m glad I didn’t need a tube put through my intestines or down my throat after I tried to kill myself from starvation a few times. Now I can’t even stop myself from shoving food down my throat, even though I know I’ll make myself throw up, but aparently if I love the food and I can keep eating, oh it’s fine! Yeah right. But that’s how I am when I’m greedy for food. I’m sure the doctors will love me when they find out that I have to be forced to slow down when I eat now, but at least they won’t be feeling like I’ll die next week if they don’t shove food down me today.

I’ve got no idea what I’ll do tomorrow. I want to walk but I reckon it’ll be way too hot somehow. I want to get ddinner but I don’t know what I want. I’m thinking sausages and steamed vegies, or something of the like. Or I’ll try something from a new pizza place that I’m told is much better than Pizza Hut. I’ll see what fortune I may have to pay just to eat a pizza or pasta dish from there, and if it’s gonna be too expensive, then maybe I’ll give them a miss. I so hate cooking now. I just don’t like it anymore. I haven’t even cooked eggs for weeks, I’m sure my carton of eggs will be going off by now. I just can’t stand cooking, and when I get foods ready for salads and stuff like that, half of that gets wasted too. I just don’t get it. I don’t even eat all the fruit I buy either, except for bananas. I love them, so even though I occasionally don’t get through them, most of the time I eat every damn one of them. So lately I’ve been buying a lot less food and doing better overall. I don’t care if people think I need to eat, the fact is I don’t eat much so I don’t need a lot of food in my house. All I need for each day is enough food for three square meals plus a few snacks, and that’s it.


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