Lost for words… But will try to write anyway

I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have a clue! For one, I think it’s getting to the time where I think letting my relationship with my guide dog go and taking a three month break and getting a new guide dog to start over freom square one, would be the go. I honestly do not know. Today, while I wasn’t in my room, but outside having coffee, then back inside, in my lounge room with my computer, Troy was quiet, so I just assumed everything was normal. When I took the computer into my room, I found something on my carpet and almost screamed because I thought Troy has spewed up. But then I felt my book, and found that it had been shredded! Most of it waas held together, there was just bite marks, and pieces of it savagely bitten out of it, and the remnants of the eating frenzie were on the floor near the book, and nowhere else, funnily enough. Troy is sooooo fucken sneaky that when he does do these rare things, he makes sure to keep his crimes in the area that he commits them so I won’t ever catch him. I almost attacked him over that. From today, I’m developing enmity for my guide dog. He’s tied up outside, I think he can stay there. He’s not an indoors dog anymore. He’s becoming a menace. So I’m controlling his menacing behaviour by not letting him in the house. Dogs who wish to spoil things near my bed are not welcome in it. My phone charger has had a bit of the insulated plastic torn too, so I’ll be buying a new one. If there isn’t any available, I’ll get rid of it and just use the laptop to recharge the phone. It can’t be that difficult. It is getting more and more difficult to trust Troy though, as he gets older and his behaviour starts deteriorating. Young dogs are supposed to be like this because of their energy, and Troy sort of has been that way all his life. But his age is making him worse. And I’m starting to develop evil ideations of killing him or me. I don’t want this life to continue the way it has been doing for me. Losing friends, other friends losing friends and loved ones, I can’t do this anymore. And Troy is getting older and more forgetful and more distructive. I can’t handle it. I don’t want my life if that’s what I have to put up with. I’m gonna do housework in a few minutes. A good vacuum is what the floor needs. And Troy’s dog food is going out into the laundry for now. I’ll decide what to do about his relocation outside by tomorrow. Troy is not fit for being an indoors dog anymore. Every single time I clean the house, within the week Troy does something to spoil it. I don’t want to be his best friend anymore. I don’t care if GDQ takes him off me tomorrow. I’ll grieve, but I won’t exactly be happy to take that mother-fucking thing back into my place anymore.


2 Responses to “Lost for words… But will try to write anyway”

  1. Nadja Leye-Shprintse Öberg Says:

    I don’t understand why you’re blamming Troy!? Actually, I think he’s trying to tell you that he wants to retire! He’ll maybe be happier as a pet dog and you’ll be happier too! You can’t have a dog who destroys your things and shows signs ofno interests of warking in the harnes! I think your school hasn’t take your worries seriously, many times they want the dog to work until he/she dies and I don’t think it’s right to the owner or dog! Good luck with your decision!


  2. Michelle Says:

    Troy will be getting another assessment in December so I’ll explain my concerns to the guide dog trainer again. I was told by a few people that he is probably very bored. Lately I haven’t been walking much because of the rain coming and going, so I’ll see what happens when I start walking regularly again. As for troy wanting to chew my stuff when he’s never done this before, well yeah. I’ll have to consider retiring the dog, as you said. So I’ll talk things over with the trainer again when she’s here. Thanks for your feedback.



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