Head cold!

It has taken it’s time to develop, but this fucking head cold is running its course today. On Sunday night I took Panadol for a headache, and it went away. On Monday I had no energy all day, but that resolved itself overnight. I was still slightly off colour on Tuesday, but doing all right. Same with Wednesday, but by that night I wasn’t feeling good. So on Wednesday night and most of yesterday, I switched between Panamax akknd nurofen all day to keep from feeling like shit. I got a fever yesterdday afternoon after walking two hundred metres up the road to Jill’s house, which went down after like 1.5 hours of staying outside. I ate spag that my Uncle made two nights ago, but I didn’t want any more after I finished my plate, which isn’t me at all! I slept from 11 pm to nearly 7 am and got out of bed soon after that, had toast and two cuppas, and here I am after reading blogs for nearly two hours. My throat is a bit sore and I’m slightly congested. I can’t decide if I should buy cough lollies or just leave it, in case the mucus builds up too much. I really don’t know. I haven’t taken Panamax today, but I think I’m gonna take some before I go out with my support worker, and another dose before I go out tonight. I want to stop myself from coughing, but since there’s a bit of phlegm when I cough, I think I’ll wait for the phlegm to clear up and then get cough lollies. Or buy Benadryl if things get worse. I seriously don’t know what to do. I’ll see how the Panamax goes ffirst I reckon. I don’t want to take cough lollies and not get rid of the junk, only to get pneumonia! That’s something I apparently love so much. Not really, if you want me to be very honest. In fact I like my life without dramas and sickness of any sort. If I really wanted to stay alive and not die in the next hour, getting sick as a trade-off might be acceptable, but only as a survival thing. After that, piss it off thank you.

Besides the throat irritation, coughing, and some runny noses with a bit of sneezing to boot, I’m all right. And I hope I stay all right! The weather is lovely outside. I’m glad for that. Someone has very annoying music on, but oh well they like it, I don’t need to hear it. I can’t understand why people think that because they love songs that are currently playing, that they can suddenly turn the music up so that everyone else has to fucking listen to it. Again fucking oh well… The other good news of my day is that I havven’t needed to put artificial tears in my left eye lately! Two weeks ago I thought I was headed for needing eye drops every day. But then my eye got better. It still hurts a bit on and off, but not enough that I need eye drops in it. That’s something that makes my day! Knowing that the calcium disease in it, is still in remission, is bloody fantastic. I don’t need to worry about it now until November. I’ll let you know what the ophthalmologist has to say when I see him in about three months. It has been three months since my eye was sorted out, and it’s doing so well. The left eye hasn’t gotten worse like I thought it would so I’m very happy. And since Nan and Pop have left my life for hopefully ever, my life is less dramatic. If there’s one thing that insults me more than anything, it’s that feeling that some people gives me, like I’m stupid and retarded and need to be treated like a little kid, need things explained to me differently to everyone else as though just being quick and giving me a two-sentence explanation would be too hard for me to understand, and the list of false impressions goes on. It is soooooooooooooo fucking hurtful. If Nan and Pop wish to be like thiss towards me, then of course they’re not welcome to ever speak to me again. Having a simple misunderstanding and working through itl, isn’t the same as deliberately finding ways to treat me differently, put me down, act like I haven’t grown up, disable me, talk to me like I’m an invalid etc. And, there’s one more thing I really hate. When I spew up, I am not five! I do not need help to breathe on my own. Treating me exactly how you treat a baby or todler when they get sick, have fevers, need medications etc, is not going to make things better for me. All this does is cause me and the doctors to freak out, and the first thing they’ll do is work out why I’m not breathing right or whatever other shitty things they must do, because adults who vomit and can’t breathe are not five-year-olds who need extra help to stop choking, except if the adult has a condition or they start having a fit or something unusual happens. So fucking hell, don’t treat me like a small child! If you do, I might just have a fit and then I’ll be treated more like an adult and will be forced to answer questions and go through tests, but this time without a guardian to comfort me, since this is another childish thing that is reserved for children. Fuck you Nan and Pop. Treat someone else like a kid and stay out of my life you frigging retards. I’m not so special, I was just born early. I’m a human being, not a fucking invalid or a dog. Fuck you! With that said, I’m closing off. Hopefully I’ll be back after tonight’s happenings to report how everything went.


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