The day is half over but not going badly anymore

I’ve finished preparing my crockpot dinner. Like the pilot says about planes being on schedule but are now late, or are still flying to good speed, I must say that my dinner was going well and on schedule for a 6 o’clock dinner or around that time, but now it’s going to be ready at nearly 7! I’ll have to check that the veges are cooking really good, then at 6 pm I’ll have to check that dinner is cooked. If it’s not, I may have to turn the slow cooker to high heat for an hour. Damn it! It means by the time dinner is ready, I’ll have to wait for about half an hour for it to cool off and wait for rice to cook and all sorts. So instead of eating at about 7 o’clock, it’ll be more like at 8. Damn! I think in an hour I’ll turn the pot on high, leave it for an hour, check the veges, and leave it for another hour. I’ve made the dish so that when I serve the meal, I shouldn’t need a knife other than for cutting my chicken a bit more. Man I can’t wait! I love apricot chicken. I think next time I’ll get a big can of apricots in their juice and throw the whole thing in. I do want to try making a saucepan style dish, but I’ll leave that for another day. Next week I want to make a chicken pasta bake. I’ll consider making a saucepan style apricot chicken the week after. Sorry, but I will only do one big main meal a week! The rest of my meals are simple and easy because I’m so lazy, I hate spending hours in the kitchen every day.

I took Troy outside not long ago to do his business. He is back to normal! I’m not back to normal yet, but I’m getting close to it. It actually feels good not having to eat and not feel hungry for a day or two. I know people need to eat, but sometimes the stomach gets that feeling like if it tries to digest food, whatever bug that’s in there will get worse. It’s nice to have an empty stomach and just eat junk food occasionally, every so often. I’m still not hungry. My only reason for wanting to eat tonight is because the chicken is so yum when it’s flavoured. It won’t be because of hunger and wanting to eat. Honestly, if I had it my way I’d have no food until next week some time. I’d just starve and feel good that I won’t feel hungry at all, until my body is ready to accept food. For fuck’s sake I’m sooooooo fat, so fat that my body wouldn’t actually need any food whatsoever for forty-eight hours, and by then I’d still be going normally. I think that’s where I’d count catching a serious bug from food poisoning as a blessing: I’d lose weight by accident. I think food poisoning is a curse, but when you’re obese, it’s actually a good thing. The other stuff to go with a bug is very bad, like feeling sick in the stomach and not being able to eat because my gut can’t handle food. That’s bad. The good part of it is that I won’t eat much except for a bit of sugary food. And tonight’s dinner. I’m getting reeeeeeeeeally lazy from not eating much food. The horrible bit is that I’m eating less and less food. I hope to God it’s not the bug getting worse. It feels like I’m not getting sicker, but I’m slowly losing my appetite till I’m not eating at all, even if my stomach isn’t cramping up, that so has to be a bad sign. I’ll let you lot how I am when I wake up tomorrow.

My right eye is doing fine. My left eye still hurts on and off, but it’s not getting worse like I feared it would. So I can forget about this whole eye issues saga for five months. In November I’ll see the ophthalmologist and will let you all know how it goes. I hope I won’t need any more surgeries for ever. All I want to hear is that I’m good to go home. I’ll see the ophthalmologist in another six months. That’s what I’d like to be happening, instead of this in and out of hospital shit. And the medication-going-wrong stuff, every time I go into hospital? Ha, I think the doctors just don’t know what they’re doing. They know what the medicine is supposed to do, but the side effects are too out of control for the doctors to help me, so they just grasp at straws when I’m in there. Well fuck them. When I’m not taking pills except for the occasional Panadol, I’m fine. They don’t need to wreck my fine life while I’m in their care. I only took two Panamaxes yesterday. That’s good enough for me. I don’t really need big doses of artificial stuff in my system. For Christ’s sake if I was in my uncle’s situation, I’d rather commit suicide than put up with his shit. I’m glad I don’t have cancer, I’d be thinking of ways to commit suicide and I’d do it as soon as possible.


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