Last day of camping trip

Yesterday and today were really good! I got on the tube on the lake twice today. This afternoon’s ride was super rough! And my second-cousin had the best time ever. I thought I was gonna fly off backwards or sideways, but I kept my grip and just went with the waves. I told the child to try to lean opposite to the waves, but he carried on about how he didn’t have to and I’d be right. Well I took over and leant our biscuit the correct way even though I fucked up a few times and nearly rolled the friggen thing! It was funny but I was freaking out and laughing at the same time, the whole way around the lake! After a good fifteen minutes, I told the child that I wanted to go back in, and insisted on heading back to the camp when I got way too tired. My eye was getting sore by then and I so couldn’t wait to get some pain relief going. I had four nurofens with Panadeine Extra this morning, only I didn’t eat for two hours after that and I felt sooooo sick. Never making that mistake again! I was able to eat breakfast and I started to come good after another hour. Then I was fine to have fun for the rest of the day. Then I had nurofen and Panamax, but had to have Panadeine Extra an hour ago. Since I didn’t mix it with nurofen, I didn’t get so sick! My stomach just went all weird like it usually does, but I didn’t feel unwell at the same time. I’m sure if I’d eaten straight away this morning I wouldn’t have felt like crap. Oh well. I had a good day. Now my eye is fairly sore, but I’m gonna make sure I’ve eaten a good amount tonight and take three nurofen pluses in four hours. Today is our last day, and I needed to have as much fun as possible. I’m glad I went on the tube twice instead of once. I didn’t spew, I laughed more than I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m having a good afternoon even though my eye is being a bitch, but isn’t so bad with the codeine on board.

I’m going home tomorrow. And then I guess I’ll be chilling out all day. I need to put washing in the machine and make sure I have as much housework done before Tuesday night. I can’t believe the last three days has come and gone. I can’t believe I’ll be having my eye removed and the socket reconstructed to fit a ceramic eye. Nan wants to come and visit me after the surgery, but I’m not looking forward to that since she always tries to make me very interactive when I’m half asleep, which doesn’t make me feel too good. Even if I do feel ok, being very tired and forced to be interactive like normal isn’t a nice thing. I won’t mind talking and interacting, but if Nan or Pop try to force more than I can handle, instead of the overdosing scenario which I thought of the other night,, I’ll tell them that I need rest and if they can’t respect my comfort levels, they can leave. Then if I do spew up or feel unwell, that’s their signal to go. I am not putting up with fucking shit this time. Patting me on the back is not gonna make me vomit any faster or make my stomach any more comfortable. They are fucking idiots and I hope they see their folly when I embarrass them in front of everyone, if it gets to that point. It best not do, I’ll disown them next time. I disassociated myself from them this time, next time I’ll disown them totally. When I have problems, making me feel good about not fixing them is not the way to deal with my life. End of story. I don’t want their shit again, and I warned Nan firmly that I’ll be in the hospital to rest and recover and sleep, not to be as interactive as other people want me to be. I’ll choose how interactive I am, my number one priority is my health and recovery. If I’m fine, I’ll handle any shit. But if I’m not feeling fine, Nan and Pop can fucking well respect that.

I’m gonna sleep well tonight. I am so sunburnt, my legs and arms are fucken stuffed. I have to wake up early tomorrow so I can go home with Jill and Bill. All I want to do when I get home is sleep, but I guess that’s out of the agenda till I get housework out of the road. I need to pick up Troy in the afternoon, but I can easily pick him up after lunch. I’m not staying at Nan’s for that long. I just don’t want to put up with their shit. Pop is a fucking ass hole. He doesn’t like discussions unless they’re his type of discussion. He needs to have his way every time, not just some of the time. He is a stupid dickhead who I hate so much. Nan honours him like he’s god and that pisses me off. She gives him support and honour that he’s not even worthy of and expects everyone else too be the same way, knowing that he’s a fucking ass hole who treats her and everyone else like shit. So no, I’m not sticking around. Troy will come home with me, he’ll get a good brushing on Monday night and the next day I’ll get all the chores done. When I use antibiotic soap that night, I won’t be allowed outside or to interact with Troy a lot. My interactions with Troy will be on Monday and Tuesday. It’ll be the last time he’ll ever see me with two natural eyes. It’ll be the last time he’ll have to put up with me in pain. He won’t have to put up with me going to the chemist every two or three days, he won’t have to put up with me stressing out and waiting around for doctors to give me the go ahead to use more pain relief. He will have to put up with me sorting out my left eye, but at least the doctors know how to work with me without all that extra shit happening now. If I’m in more pain, I won’t need to wait for a month to fix it. I won’t be stuck on pain relievers for more than a month at a time anymore. Troy won’t have to put up with me staying in hospital for days at a time every month. Day admissions are easy, it’s having to stay in for more than a day which is harder. I’m sure I’ll only need this overnight stay and then another one down the track to remove the left eye eventually. The doctors want me to keep the eye for as long as possible, so if I’m still going to the chemist every month and not always taking pain relief because of the eye treatments and prescription medicines to keep my eye comfortable, that’ll be better. There won’t be any of that stress anymore. I’ll know what to expect with that eye, and Troy won’t have to put up with me freaking out so much. I really hate using eye drops and taking prescription medicines, but if it means staying away from pain relievers most of the time, that’s better than having two eyes removed. Life should be good after this operation! I can’t wait.

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