10 March, 2013 09:56

My eye is getting worse every day. I tried just taking Panamax and nurofen last night to give myself a break from the codeine, because even though it’s less harmful long term than nurofen, I don’t want addiction issues. Well, to put it lightly, the Panamax only made the pain a bit tolerable. It unfortunately takes codeine to make the pain a lot bearable now. So I’ve stepped up the painkillers again, forever, well onnly for two weeks now thank God. It’s really devastating actually. I wanted the docs to save my eye, but I guess they’ll just have to get rid of it… No point in hiding the fact now since affter reading a few entries this past week, maybe you lot would figure the same about it. I had to take Panadeine Forte with nurofen this morning just to put my eye painunder control, and it’s still fairly sore. It’s just tolerable. I don’t believe it’s me getting addicted to the codeine that’s dong it, since nurofen usually covers any pain that the codeine doesn’t cover very well. It tells me that my eye is getting worse every day, not my use of codeine s an addiction problem, since I go with using as much as I need according to how painful I am, not the other way around. I’ll take Panadeine Extra this arvo, which is a lower dose of codeine, and if my eye pain is still a bit tolerable and doesn’t get worse suddenly, I’ll know that it’s just the eye pain being controlled a bit by the drug, not the drug taking control of me. I’m aware of all the shit the doctors are concerned about. But if I’m not in a lot of pain, I’m gonna not take the codeine. Simple! Or at least the lower dose codeine. I won’t just take Panadeine jForte for something better to do. I will get addicted to the codeine eventually, probably by next week, then I’ll start getting immune to it. But by then I’ll be nearly ready to check into the hospital, and they can help me come off it. I don’t want it when my pain is better, after they do some major renovations. I may need it for two days, but after that it’s going to God. I may feel withdrawals and whatever shit, but that won’t make me take something I won’t need if I’m not in pain. Nurofen and Panamax will be fine by then. It’s a pity my eye is too sore and too rotten to be dulled with Panamax and nurofen at this time. It’s such a pity! It just means I’ll be stuck in hospital for two days. They will care for me. I want a holiday anyway. I also want off the painkillers.

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