A nice start to the day!

I woke up this morning in pain. Yes, that fucking eye pain came back. And that rough, gritty feeling that comes with is still there. So I took Panamax and nurofen plus. The pain calmed right down, but that rough feeling is still irritating me, just not causing agony anymore. That’s right, that artificial feeling that my eye isn’t so bad is only temporary. Just imagine if I’d left it to get worse without taking any tablets! I would have needed Panadeine Forte by now. But I won’t let my pain get that bad if I can help it. I’m going to do nothing tomorrow, so I could just take Panadeine Forte when I wake up, just to keep me calmed down and out of pain all day. I can always do housework on Sunday and Monday. I want the house to be spotless by Tuesday morning so I can have a shower and clean my hair and everything. They’re gonna do a blood test and all that when I get to the hospital, they don’t want me carrying viruses or infections that’re gonna make me sick days later when I least expect it! If I carry them in my immune system because of immunity to them, that’s nothing. But they want to make sure I’m not getting sick with something. Ok that’s a fucking close call… Because I had to sit on my lazy ass all week to get over this friggen cold. Hopefully it’ll only show up as a negative carrier next week! If I’m positive for anything, they may cancel the surgery. That’s fine, who wants to feel good one day and find themselves sick the next day, only to discover they’ve caught something they didn’t know they had until it got them three days after exposure to the bug? They’re taking precautions so it’s good. I think they want to clear my name from a few things, since last time the doctors did testing and a few blood tests, and this time they want to make sure I’m even healthier, and that there’s not actually something developping that we don’t know about. I secretly think I’m fine, but from the outside people don’t know that! Just because I say I’m fine when they do the blood test, doesn’t mean I will be. I just don’t exactly know what to look out for with some issues, so as far as I understand, I’m all good.

I ate breakfast and drank a cuppa after I took my pain pills. I started to feel better after that. I rang my cousin to let him know about my vet appointment in March, and he said he got my message from the other day but forgot to ring me back. That’s fine, I forget to ring people all the time! Oh yeah, I need to ring Braille House soon. Damn! I keep forgetting to ring them. I’ll be getting a few Braille books and reading them for hours I can tell you. I hardly ever get Braille books anymore, and I’d like to start getting them again. I so wish I’d gotten some already! I would be reading them in the hospital next week no matter how many drips are attached to me, no matter how much spewing up I have to put up with etc. Anyone would think I’m a crazy one! But I’m not one for letting things get to me, unless of course a certain two dicks think it reasonable to remind me that bad things are happening… It’s ok to let them happen… All that shit. It is fine to let things go wrong, but not like it’s just a pee or a crap. Um, while the stuff is going on, how about not ignoring the issue causing it? Oh, and relieving the misery just a little. Ok my stomach isn’t liking this subject. I’m enjoying the subject just as much, so let’s move on. After I ring Braille House, I’m going to sit on my lazy ass for another hour, then start cooking lunch! I was gonna have dinner at my house tonight, but my Uncle apparently loves me too much to let me miss out on his dinners, so I’ll eat lunch at home and go to his place tonight. I was gonna go there tomorrow night, but five days away from them is too much, and last night I didn’t eat when I went there, so tonight I have to go there because it’ll be too hard for them to wait for me to have dinner there tomorrow night! They’re a crazy lot, but I love them. It’s funny how when they think I come there for food too often, I give it a break because I don’t want to eat at everyone else’s places too often either. Yet then they expect me to come back because I don’t eat there often enough! Seriously, people need to make up their minds. Oh well. They’re not malicious about their intentions, so maybe I’ll go to Jill’s house every third night for tea. That way everyone will be happy with me going there most of the time.

JP, who I discussed a few days ago, isn’t doing very well at the moment. He’s still fighting the flu, but he is on life support to help him out. He needs positive thoughts and prayers so urgently! Please go to his site and check it out! The address is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jppeters. He needs everyone’s support to get through this. It’s up to you really, but I’m sure the family especially would like JP to see another day through until he overcomes this nasty virus which has caused all sorts of trouble. There’s no update in my email just yet, but the family might update the site in a day or two, or even today. I turned the email notifications off yesterday, knowing that I have his site in my Favourites list to check on at any time, just so I can take a break from CB for a while and then read the site when a couple of weeks has passed with a racing heart and holding my breath that I’ll be reading good news updates. But I decided to turn the notifications back on because I want to read every entry that comes in. I won’t be able to read CB on Wednesday next week, so I can still keep track of updated entries via email and simply click on the site when I have time so I can read the journal. This child needs everybody’s prayers soooooooo fucking much though. He has been through a god damn lot of shit and has survived. This can’t be the shit of a time that takes him out please! Fucking damn you shit of a fuckhead damn influenza! Fuck off and leave people alone! JP so has to be all right, the poor thing is stronger than he realises sometimes. He’s only poor because he’s sick, he’s not weak at all! yes he might be run—down and temporarily weak from feeling sick and all sorts, but he’s asleep now and besides being a bit weak in the sense that he’s just feeling horrible, he’s not weak in the literal sense of the word. Honestly I would have been dead by now if I was in his shoes. I’ll update you on how he is, probably tomorrow or on Sunday. As for little Owen, who is growing up fast now! He’s doing fine. The occasional bug gets to him, but he bounces back fast. His site is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/owenpilot, and I’m sure he’ll want a message put in his guestbook as well. I’ll let you guys know how he is in a few weeks. He should still be all right. It makes me wonder how some kids and adults who get the same treatment protocols, can have different outcomes. I know everyone is different with their reactions to treatments and their health and such, but if you have two healthy people who react all right to their treatment and they have the same protocol coincidentally, it baffles me that they can still suffer differently! One person may end up dead or disabled months or years later because the disease has come back or the treatment has failed, and the other person may come out at the other side just fine.

I walked Troy to the shops at nearly 8 am. That was a big mistake, because it was boiling hot! I was sweating to death by the time I got there. I bought some stuff from the IGA store and then they rang a taxi for me. I was gonna ring them myself but they reckoned if they called one, the taxi company would have their address immediately anyway. Ok that was great! When the taxi turned up, the driver helped me to his car and me and Troy got in. I told the driver it was gonna get so hot today, and he said it’s a possibility. I told him it was more like definite because it was already hot when I got to the shops. It shows how little people know of the weather because they’re always in air-conditioning! I don’t have that luxury yet, sadly. I won’t be getting taxis all the time, a five-minute ride is a bit expensive! Getting a taxi transport card will help a lot.. I can’t wait for the friggen thing to turn up. They’re taking their fucking time to process things as usual. I need to get a few dozen passport photos so I can get myself a travel pass and a passport so I can travel overseas one day. I’d rather get the passport now than wait forever to get one because of not getting the process started straight away. My life is getting on track, it’s just taking too long and I want it to fucken take less time. Apparently I need more patience. That’s fine if you’ve got all the time in the world to be patient. I certainly haven’t got all the time, and I’m certainly not going to be patient just because other people want me to slow down a bit. They can either keep up with me or dip out. Slow people are a pain in the frigging ass to be honest. Being too rushed isn’t good either, but doing everything at a snail’s pace isn’t my life at all. My instructor hates me because I force things to happen faster. But she forgets that while she has a life and her busy schedule, I don’t need to put my life on hold because I need to take more time to do things because I’m blind. How about she works with her schedule and maybe lets me put a bit more activity into my life. I’m not that fucking dumb that I have to take six years to learn something. Occasionally I need a hundred decades to do things, but that’s rarely. Well since I’m off track with everything now,, I think I’ll close off, edit and post. I’ll write more later.

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