Wow! Can’t believe I’m motivated to do another blog

I’m doing this one in Ms Word. I’ve got the site open, ready for me to paste it in quickly. The good thing about doing blogs over the site is that I can post links in it and post video links especially, without the movie player coming up. It causes the computer to lock up something shocking! At least if I want to post more videos or any links for that matter, I can do so without fuck assing around. Well let’s see! I gave Troy a good hug and a good pat. He loves it when I pat him for a good hour. And I had two sandwiches with condensed milk on them. And then I ate almost all the tube of the stuff! I felt sick for a good while after that, so I guess I won’t ever do that again lol! No point in making myself vomit if I’m gonna complain and scream about it later. I didn’t spew up thank God. That milk is lovely though, and if I wasn’t careful, I would have spewed up for sure, but then would have gone for more… And I would have made a huuuuuuuuuuuge mess! Even more I would have complained about the spew, and not being able to hold more condensed milk down, over and over. So I decided that if I can’t handle eating a whole tube of it, I won’t try to force feed myself, even though the taste is indescribably fucking irresistible. While I was getting over feeling terribly nauseated, I watched Medical Emergency. It’s a freaky show, I don’t ever want to be part of the story in real life ever again. I’m glad people are kept unconscious while they’re on ventilators, but when they’re spoken to, I’m sure they can hear something but don’t remember it later, or recognise what they’re hearing. It’d be a nightmare if you were to ask me.

A couple of months ago, I wrote an update about Owen who had a bone marrow transplant last year. He is still doing very well. The only sad bit is that his bone marrow isn’t formed properly yet. I can’t explain the mechanisms of bone marrow properly because I’m totally stupid when it comes to this sort of subject. But basically, Owen is producing healthy cells and pretty good amounts of them for where he is at today. But somehow, the marrow isn’t completely set in his bones or something. He doesn’t have his own blood, but the marrow he does have isn’t all there. Basically he has all the cells he needs and his marrow is working, but he doesn’t have as much in his bones as other kids do. Let’s hope it fills his bones more as he gets older. The other thing we should hope for, is that while Owen is growing into his marrow, cancer won’t start growing again. It shouldn’t, but it’s a racing game: Which group of cells will win? I hope it’s Owen’s bone marrow that wins. He needs a healthy life! Go Owen go! He made it this far, he can make it another year, and the year after that, and the one after that.

I can’t decide whether I want to stay home for tea tonight, or go to my aunty’s place. It’s like, if I stay away from them for a single day, everyone wants to know where I am by the next day. But if I hang around them a lot, they all get sick of me. Ah, I secretly get sick of them too actually. I truthfully just want some time to myself tonight, to just sit in my own home and think about how far I’ve come just in the last nine weeks. I went to Darwin in 2006, I got Troy in 2007. Since then I’ve had good and bad days dealing with Mum and her bull shit. Last year, I got hit by a car and nearly got stuck in the intensive care unit. After I came out of hospital only hours later, I spent the next six weeks recovering. I spent another six weeks getting over the mental shit that went with the whole ordeal. By then I was back to normal, as if nothing had happened, except for a small dent in my rib cage which will forever remind me of how close I came to being a very very sick person. After all that crap, I thought I was going to lose Troy because of all the fucking rubbish that surrounded the way I was apparently treating him. Yeah I got frigging frustrated. But I didn’t go out of my way to hurt Troy. A couple of years ago I smacked him a few times for trying to shit on the concrete footpath. A few times I’ve pulled his leash hard because I tried to stop him from pulling at my arm and also from trying to shit on the footpath. I can’t stand dogs having a shit where they want, instead of on the grass. Dogs shouldn’t have no control of their bowels really. Then there was Troy’s work. I didn’t know if he was working well enough for me or not. I decided that he hadn’t been. So all that got me feeling like I’d lose Troy. I wanted to keep him, but in a way I didn’t. I did end up keeping the dog, and he’s still working for me today. I reckon he’s working better now that we’re out of the shit-hole and I’m away from my fuckhead mother. As for Troy shitting on the footpath, I couldn’t give a fuck anymore, He’s retiring in a few years anyway. Adelaide Guide Dogs can go to fucking hell anyway. They need to toilet train the dogs better. I’m not saying the dogs need to hold on until they die. They just need to be trained properly so they don’t pee and poop while they’re walking along with a harness on. Blaming me because some fuckhead didn’t want to train Troy properly in the first place isn’t helping anyone. Goodbye Darwin, and I don’t ever want to go near Adelaide again either. There’re too many fuckwits there too.

Well, the time has come to write about a few things I’ve had on my mind for a long time. Justin and Melinda are my topic of discussion, and I need to write a few concerns I’ve had about them for a good while. When I first met them, they seemed to be nice people. I got on well with them. But Melinda, who I especially grew to hate over a few months, seemed inconsistent to me as I got to know her. The other blog I wrote about her being a thief, well I still think she’s one. If she has to use someone else’s money without asking, and then excusing herself for it, well I don’t like that. Then the claims about her claiming to be my friend when she hardly rang me, hardly invited me to her place etc. Ok, that’s all fine if she was being honest and saying she’s not a very good friend. Good friends invite each other to do things, go to each other’s places and the like. It certainly isn’t that concrete by any means. But I guess you get the gist of it. All Melinda ever did was complain about her problems instead of getting off her backside and doing something about them. She acted like a bitch and nobody else was allowed to bitch back at her. You could if you suited her agenda. She is a fucking pretender, and I wish I knew that from the start. I don’t ever want to know her anymore or talk to her ever again. Justin, well he’s just as bad. He fucking lies, but in different ways. He’s not friendly to many people, he carries on like a dickhead. He wants a wife but won’t do a fucking thing about finding one, just sticks to his excuses about being a bad courter and a bad person. Well changing his behaviour might help a little. If he wants a couple of friends, he might want to be friendlier than he is by the sounds of it. Otherwise, he needs to quit his complaints and accept that he doesn’t have friends. At least Stacey is a true friend to me. She doesn’t lie to me, and the big arguments we have had, we just be truthful to each other and explain things, then go off at each other if we think we’re lying about things. That’s how friends should be, and of course trying to not argue and bicker is what also makes a good friendship. But apparently Justin and Melinda aren’t like that. You just don’t know that till their true colours show.


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