Back on my site again…

I’m here again! And I’m using the site again. I’m sick of using the email feature all the time, but I discussed that yesterday. At least here I can check the word count straight away if I want. Plus I don’t have to worry about using Ms Word’s limited space if I want to write a huge blog. At least if I want to spell-check it, I can make a document, edit it, and then delete it straight away. I could type this in a document in case I lose the damn thing, but I’m a bit too lazy for that at the moment.

I had O and M this morning. It went really really well! The only thing is, I wanted to get up at seven o’clock but I was too tired. I’m dumb. I should have gotten up and quickly boiled the jug, but apparently I was too sleepy to think straight. So I think I’ll have to set my alarm again and jump out of bed before I get the chance to even close my eyes tomorrow. I’m getting fed up with starting my day at between ten and eleven each day. I need to be starting my days earlier, because if I start work next year or year affter, I’ll have to get up, and the boss ain’t gonna like me being late every day! He/she also won’t want me to be grumpy of a morning either. People who like their jobs don’t need to take their tempers with them to work. I certainly won’t be. Mum can do what she fucking wants with her temper though, I’m over it. My idea of having control isn’t to be as grumpy as I can at everyone and any thing. I sent her a little email yesterday, briefly saying things are ok, and that I won’t answer the phone unless we can have a nice conversation. She is warned, for the very friggen last time, that if she carries on, I’ll hang up on her without letting her finish her shit, and will not talk to her for as long as I’m not ready to hear her out. All she does is talk bull crap, and listening to her doesn’t help nobody. I don’t intend to be grumpy at work, and really I don’t want to be that way at all. It’s just that the shit hit the fan this year, and it all got to me and affected everyone else. At least they know that I’m not being that way to be a spoiled brat.. I’m only that way when I really need to be grumpy. Mum is simply an unreasonable bitch, so I really don’t have the nicest things to say to her at this minute, which is why I’m not talking to her. I told her that we either have a good conversation, or we don’t talk, end of story. So now that she knows that, she’ll understand damn well if I hang up on her for being a dick. As for me and wanting to start on the right foot when I get a job, getting up early and doing things which encourages my happy moods, will be a good start!

I’m gonna see my eye doc in six months. Please tell me he won’t shoot me first and then ask questions! He needs to just look in my eye and be done with the nonsense. I just want to hear that he’s ok with what’s happening at the moment. I hope he gets a good look at the left eye as well. If he needs to do any major surgery on that one by then, at least I’ll be a bit more understanding. I’ll just make sure I have a few bottles of ginger ale on hand and a few packets of nurophen handy as well. Nurophen Plus will definitely be on the cards for a good while so I won’t be interrupted overnight from pain as well. Until I hit that fucking bridge, I’m planning on having a good time! No swimming for six weeks, but oh well. Once I stop the steroid drops in four weeks, I’ll have two weeks of my immune system working its way into my eyes properly again. After that I’m living the high life big time. If I need to make myself spew up just to prevent complications in my left eye, this will be after I’ve had a good time for a while, and when I’ve got enough resources on hand to deal with the shit for a week or two, so I can get back onto the band-wagon even faster! Anyone would think that I’m going stupid planning ahead, but seriously, recovering from surgery isn’t fun unless you’re on painkillers believe me! Buying pain relievers and leaving them in the cupboard isn’t abuse unless you’re taking them for no reason except to get a buzz, or to relieve little pains that aren’t that unbearable to start with. That’s abuse. But having them there, knowing that I will actually need them soon enough, is basically like having ammunition on you if you’re a cop or if you need it to defend yourself or something drastic like that. Same thing. Ammo defends from reasonable dramas that you can’t stop without it, painkillers defend against pain that you can’t cope with. If someone can’t logically work that out, then bugger me! It’s not that hard to think through really.

I rang Shirley yesterday. She’s doing fairly well. She went to hospital a few weeks ago for antibiotics for her kidneys, but apparently she didn’t get good treatment from her doctors. Ok, she didn’t say much, but I’m guessing that maybe they didn’t treat her well because of the way she resists treatment without asking questions to figure out why they’d be wanting to do a hundred tests and why she’s waiting so long for test results and so forth. I don’t know, but if she’s so adamant about never going back to hospital again, I seriously don’t know what she’ll do if she’s very sick. Yeah there’s some dorks around, some nurses aren’t so nice. Just go off at them and the nicer ones will soon turn up lol! Anyway, Shirley thinks the Darwin hospital isn’t somewhere good to go, but I really think it’s because she just doesn’t like medical treatment, and instead of finding out exactly how they’re trying to help her and what not, she’s just assuming and presuming things. In any case, she’s doing all right. Her front door is fucked because the fire and rescue had to break the door down to get her out, so that just goes to show how sick she was I’m assuming. She said something about having trouble getting to her front door to open it, but I dunno. I don’t know the whole situation to make definite judgements, but Shirley can’t be coping with her life too well if she needs someone to break into her home to help her, and if not many doctors are nice to her anymore, she can’t be cooperating too good. I don’t cooperate with bad doctors either, but if I’m doing what I can at the time, that’s totally different from assuming things that aren’t happening and basing your opinions and actions towards the doctors purely on your own feelings and presumptions. If Shirley doesn’t want to trust the doctors, that’s fine. I don’t trust doctors either. But blatantly going off at them without asking questions is a bit much. At least if she did what they said and still complained, they might think of different options or figure out that they’re not being so helpful after all, and do something totally different. She really has no idea. If she ends up going there to use the morgue, I might just go mental. I hope they don’t put her in there, I hope they do wake her up and get her to realise that instead of cursing every doctor, she needs to let a nice person know her concerns so they can boot the c$s off her case and the reasonable people can help her. Mum’s last boyfriend found that same hospital to be a fantastic place, so I think Shirley is making things up to get her own way really.

I went around to my aunty’s place for tea last night. It was her birthday, so we all had a good time. I got her a mud cake as a present! I couldn’t find her a good card and didn’t know what else to get her, so the mud cake was my next choice. She loved it! She ended up sharing some with me and anyone else who might want some, but I was the only one who had a bit of that. We had another cake that my cousin made, and it was really yum. She always doubts herself when she cooks and gets herself into a really bad grumpy mood until we convince her that she really got worked up over nothing! She’s good though, her bad tempers only stay around for like half an hour, then she joins in the fun when everyone carries on about how nice her food is. She’s funny like that. She really doesn’t have to go off about her doubts though! She’s so hard onn herself. Doubting yourself is one thing, but freaking out to the point of yelling and getting into an angry mood? Wo’o’o’o’o’o! O-K. Maybe just settle a little. The roast pork was really good too. I wanted more of it, but everyone ate it all. I don’t know what I’ll be cooking for tea tonight. I have a new saucepan set waiting for me to use, so I might as well get cracking and make use of it tonight. I so don’t know what I want to cook thoough. The mince is frozen, so I might have to cook spag tomorrow. I don’t have chicken fillets, so stir-fry is out of the question. Fuck it. I’ll just do a slack tea tonight, thaw out the mince tomorrow, and make spaghetti tomorrow night. Oh wait! No I can’t do that either. I’m going to my brother’s place for dinner. Damn. They’re having a carva drinking ceremony after dinner so I’ll be there for that. Joshua reckons I won’t like it, but I said that I seriously have to try everything because life is more fun that way. So he’s being a bit reluctant about letting me try some. I’m pretty good at talking him into letting me do new things so he’ll just have to get over it lol. It’s not like I have to repeat bad experiences. Well that leaves Saturday night, or Sunday night. I don’t wanna leave mince in the fridge to go off just because I don’t know when I’ll cook it next. I’m guessing that if I put it in the fridge tomorrow night, I’ll be right to cook by Saturday. Then next week I’ll buy chicken fillets and do a stir-fry. Then I’ll make a potato salad. Atleast it won’t take three hours to make, because I can boil eggs at the same time now. I’ve got a good jar of potato salad dressing, so it should make for a good salad. If I can make a nice one, then I’ll start making them for family gatherings and the like. I need to buy a grater as well I think. Sliced carrot in potato salad isn’t the nicest in the world. Grated carrot, corn, small bits of fried bacon, mashed egg, dressing. That’ll make for a good salad. Oh and don’t forget the onion either. Talking of food, tomorrow morning I might just make bacon and eggs with tomato and onion. I love finely cut tomato cooked in fried onion! Then I’ll make a few bits of toast and put condensed milk on a piece after I’ve eaten bacon and eggs with other bits of toast. Man I’m gonna be as full as after breakfast I think.

I was gonna edit this blog but I don’t think I need to. I’ll just publish this as is I think. It saves me too much stuffing around. I might just read it and get rid of errors I do find, but that’s it. Fucking around for half an hour just to post a nice blog isn’t my piece of cake at the moment. So I’ll have a quick read of this and publish it.

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