Dinner was soooooo yum’m’m’m’m’m’m’m’m’m’m! The pork was so tender you didn’t even need a knife to cut it, except to make bigger pieces of course. All I had to do with my serving though, was break it over my plate of veges. I had the biggest amount of vegetables eh! There were a few pumpkin seeds which I didn’t notice when cutting the pumpkin, but leaving it in the skin to soak for a few hours was the best thing I ever thought of. I’m gonna try leaving the potatoes in the skin net time too. They were cooked perfectly, not too hard or too soft. The pumpkin was kinda mushy, but not over-cooked either. It was how you’d expect a pot roast to be. There’s still some pork left over for one or two days’ worth of food. I’m gonna eat the vegetables for lunch tomorrow. The salad that I’d made yesterday was going off, so I may never mix beetroot into a salad mi again. It was so yum at the time, but sadly I think it was starting to go off tonight, so I got rid of it rather than risk getting sick if I were to eat some tomorrow. I think next time I’ll make a smaller salad so I can try to heave it eaten in a single day, for lunch and dinner or something. I’m still got one and a half lettuces in the fridge too. I need to eat them before next week, and I don’t know how I’ll get around to it. At least the fresh stuff is cooked. Well, there’s still a cabbage I need to sort out. I want to boil some veges, but the steam set I borrowed won’t work because the saucepans are absolutely not big enough. I might just have to make another pot roast! Next time I’ll use corn meat. I’ll do cabbage, potatoes, carrots, peas, corn and beans. I love pumpkin, but unless I get someone to take me to the shops to buy some, I will miss out on that. I didn’t get any phone call from my cousin, so I’m assuming he just wanted to leave me in peace. Oh well I got dinner cooked so that’s the main thing. Now I just won’t do anything new till I’ve eaten what’s in the fridge. I hope the yoghurt isn’t off by tomorrow, because I’m waaaaaaaay too full for desert tonight.

I can’t think of much else to write. So I guess I should just write what’s on the top of my head now. That would be O and M! My instructor is really happy with me this week. I’m apparently doing much better with getting to my brother’s place. I can also get my way back home how! But I’m not allowed to go there on my own until my instructor shows me how to get there with Troy. We had another discussion about my cane work today. She told me that the way I work with the cane will be the same route I use with Troy. So instead of me finding the curbs with my cane, and all the corners and all the other contours of the area, Troy would find those and automatically work with what’s happening. I’d feel the twists and turns, and I’d know when to tell Troy what I want from him because I can do this with my cane. I hope that will work in real life lol! The instructor will make sure it does she reckons. So let’s hope I can get started on my O and m when my instructor gets back from her O and M stuff in another town in two weeks, on the right foot! I also have to get another checkup at the doctors because I didn’t get a health report for Guide Dogs the last time I went to see the doctor. Fucken damn it. I think the checkup is totally unnecessary, but unfortunately the doctors won’t write notes and make up a new report unless patients are with them now. That is friggen stupid! So now I’ll be asked the same questions, and get a blood pressure check, mental status checked, etc. If the doctor is thorough enough, he/she, since my current GP is on leave, may do a circulation and respiratory check, EKG, and all the other stinking tests. Of course obvious questions are ticked respectively. But for exam questions, some doctors will actually do a test right there to see that you’re answering the questions correctly. For example, if I say I don’t have circulation problems, I’m not lying, but because the doctor doesn’t know any different, he/she may check my pulses. If I say no to a heart condition, but that my heartbeat is irregular and skips sometimes, they may do an EKG to check for themselves what I’m saying, because they really want to see the proof for the paperwork, even though the doctor would know I’m being honest with them at the time. My current GP just ticked the boxes according to what I answered, but she did a blood pressure check because she had to write it on the form. Oh, and she checked my height and weight as well. So when I got to the hospital for my surgery, I got them to do an EKG to make sure all my anxiety symptoms weren’t heart attacks or other heart problems developing slowly. Thank God I have a good heart! It is irregular though, but not in a constant bad rhythm. So it’s irregular, but not enough for me to need medication. Woooooooo-hoooooooo! The good news for the doctors is that I’m clear for future surgeries I might need. Unfortunate news for me because I don’t like surgery, but good news for the fact that I don’t need medicine for my heart. It’s just wrong that I have to get another checkup because the other report got lost. It’ll work out still. I’ll just get this fucking checkup over and done with when my brother gets back from Fiji. Then I’ll continue on with my O and M and hopefully not be interrupted by the hospital again, at least not so soon.

That’s the good news of today. The rest of it has just been sooooo lazy. I’m so happy I moved over to Cairns. I’m glad I’m not in that shit-hole of Darwin anymore. Mum can stay up there with her alcoholic boyfriend as far as I’m concerned. And I’m glad I’m with Guide Dogs Queensland instead of that one in Adelaide. Believe me, the Guide Dogs organisation in the NT and the one in Adelaide are so disconnected because they don’t talk to each other about me and Troy and my mobility with my cane, unless they really have to. Plus in Queensland, Guide Dogs work systematically so that I can get on track faster. Darwin is such a fucking backwards-thinking place when it comes to Guide Dogs services not being organised and taking too much time to get in order and everything. It’s all fucked up there, and their crappy Government isn’t helping any.

I’m pretty certain my eye would be in the back of my head by now if I hadn’t moved over here. That’s a very frightening thought to be honest. Supposedly the doctors in Queensland aren’t the best, but the doctors in Darwin aren’t no good unless you can find one who knows how to care for a patient. There was no fucking mention of eye surgery last year, but my current ophthalmologist reckons I could have had the surgery done at any time since five years ago. Maybe this one is a better one than all the dickheads in Darwin, I don’t know. I kept telling the doctor that I got checked five years ago, but back then I was still in Darwin, and the last time I got an eye checkup in Brisbane was a while back further. I’m sure the ophthalmologist is forgiving of me mixing up the dates and times of eye appointments because I’ve had so fucking many of them! Then Mum has to ring up two weeks ago and carry on like a dickhead as if me not handling surgery well is like having a major heart attack, all because she’s got schizophrenic ideas in her head about the doctors not being able to keep me alive because anesthetic is dangerous and all that shit. Um… Isn’t that why there would be what you’d call a surgical care unit? Because um… It’d be like intensive care, but for the surgical people you dickhead lady! It’s for sick and dying people who aren’t ready to go home yet, just so they can stay alive until they’re eating properly. But no, Mum wants to keep herself in the past instead of changing with the times. Yeah, hospital is a fucking hard place to get well in because maybe they make you eat after you spew up, like after they give you Tylenol and panadol tablets and all that, just so you can hold food and water down, and not choke on other medicines, a bit quicker than if you were dying at home probably? Mum is a bit on the dowey side with her ideas on how doctors do or don’t treat illnesses and surgical patients. So… She’s not getting a text or phone call from me for a while. So year. My eye doctor would be a bit on the sad side about the stress of all this, so he’s urging me to keep up with his medical care program so I won’t die in agony later on, and will hopefully need fewer surgeries. Um, not that Mum would have such intelligence to think like that. She’s an alcoholic, what do I expect from her? She should be the one in hospital being baby-fed and force-fed medication and tranquilizers, not me.


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