Cold is going away!

Today I’m doiing a bit better. I didn’t even need nurophen last night or this morning! I’m still taking benadryl though. I’ll take it till the bottle is finished, unfortunately. My chest is still gunky, and I want to make sure it’s all gone by tomorrow. Hopefully if the doctor can’t get a look into my eyes tomorrow, he can have me put to sleep some time this week. I really need something done with that eye. It feels a bit bearable at the moment, but I’m certain it’s because of the eye drops. That sandy feeling which used to come on occasionally, is there all the time now, so I know whatever floater is in there is getting worse. I can’t stand it. The worst bit is that I can’t get my right eye to roll down, but the left eye rolls down a bit better. I can’t understand that.

I went to my aunty’s place last night. I had dinner there, which was really yum! I’m going back there later, more like after lunch. I’m taking Troy with me today. I had a discussion about him with my aunty yesterday afternoon, and she’s in agreement with me that Troy needs more work to do. Funny how people understand differently when they see first hand what happens if you don’t keep a working dog’s routine. Wow! At least I won’t have to retire Troy any time soon! That’s good. I can relax more, and I can know that if I don’t die in surgery, I’ll be able to work with Troy again. My two biggest fears are having to retire Troy early, and having to get put to sleep. I keep wondering how it would feel to die without waking up, where I’d go, and how I’d be without a physical body. It just scares me, that’s all. Hopefully I’ll have enough life support to prevent all that, and I’m definitely telling the anesthetist not to let my heart stop. If he/she does a good job at that, I’ll be happy.

Yesterday I wrote on Twitter that I’d starve all day today. But now I’m not going to. I’ll drink heaps of water, but I’m not going to drink any fluids at all affter 8 pm. I’ll eat what I want, but will stop at 7:30 pm. Very similar to how Troy was when he had his surgery, only he could eat and drink till 8 pm, and then he had to fast from then on. My fasting method will be that food takes longer to digest than water, so if I stop eating at 7:30 and stop drinking at 8 pm, my stomach will have had half an hour extra time to digest the food while water is being poured into it. It just means that by morning, a toilet break should suffice, and by afternoon, there should be no food at all in my system. by evening, there should be no fluids at all, except for what’s in my bloodstream and IV. If the plan changes that I get surgery on a different date, I’ll start eating and drinking again. But as for now, my plan isn’t changing. I want to minimise my risk for vomiting as much as possible, even if I have to put up with a bit of a chuck up that’s more like a big burp with a bit of fluid, rather than a full spew. I’d rather that than a violent heave of any sort thank you. I don’t tolerate heaving. I wish valium could be given for every vomit. Oh well. I’m gonna really make sure I’m ready for tomorrow. That poor doctor will think I’m doing the overkill thing, but I’ll tell him that he won’t have to put up with waking up after surgery. I don’t know how it’s ok for doctors to say not to eat and drink before surgery so you won’t vomit and choke, yet it’s ok to vomit and choke on bile from an empty sstomach! I think I’d rather choke on throwing up fresh water than throwing up a piece of stomach with liquids from twenty-four hours ago. It’s disgusting, and I’m afraid to say, bodies don’t process vomit as quick as we think they do, unless you’re like me and will try to completely dehydrate for a good thirteen hours to the point that there won’t be any vomit to bring up later.


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