This and that

I checked out a couple of online shopping sites. Coles is useless, you’ve actually gotta log in first, which I can’t do because I’m not registered. The Woolleys site is better because all I had to do was put in my post code and press enter on a suburb. Then it took me to the groceries! I found a whole heap of stuff which I’d love, except that prices are ridiculous. I wonder how much it’d cost to actually deliver the stuff to the door? Probably a bloody fortune no doubt. I have to work something out, because Mum won’t live forever as I’ve always said, but who else is going to drop everything and wait on me hand and foot? I don’t even let Mum do that, but she howls and goes on when I try to make her let go a little. I bet if I started doing online shopping, she’d freak out over the changes. I wonder what would happen if she couldn’t see? The other option is going to Centrelink and telling a social worker that I want a support worker because Mum doesn’t have twenty-four hours in a day to baby-sit me. I don’t want any brilliant ideas, I just want the reality to be that me and Mum can live our lives without unnecessary stress.

Today and tomorrow are gonna be seriously boring! I don’t want to stay home, but I don’t want to go out and spend a fortune either. I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, so I guess going out won’t help unless I’m walking more than sitting down. That’s a bit hard when the outdoors is boiling hot, and inside there’s not much to do. Troy just wants to sleep because he doesn’t like the summer, and all he can do in the shops is sit on his ass all day. Actually! No I’ve just thought of something. Bus rides. They get boring after a while, but I’d rather take a bus somewhere, buy a can of coke, then come home, knowing I’ve done something. It won’t be a constructive achievement, but for Troy it will be. He has to concentrate, and people have to learn to resist patting him. Plus what’s the point in staying home in the heat anyway? It’s easier to go out for no reason, at least to socialize a little. I’ve got coke in the fridge though, so I guess I won’t need to buy more coke for a couple of days. I suppose it would just make sense to stay home. I could pass the time by reading the Bible. I don’t know how much good it’ll do with Mum trying to restrict my life in little ways. She needs to learn how to relax and chill the frig out.

I cooked chips earlier. Most of them were a bit burnt, but I reckon it’s because I had them frying for too long. It’s cheaper than buying fries, but if I have to buy things to enjoy them more, then that’s what will be happening. Another thing that’s been on my mind is this blog. This lady has been getting a hard time from medical staff over her daughter’s condition because some stupid idiots in her family are brave enough to lie and start trouble. It’s sad that the hospitals didn’t actually try to find the facts of this whole saga before making conclusions about this lady. It’s very very sad that people who’s children are sick, sometimes get labelled as attention-seekers, people who’re doing the hurting, etc. I kind of work out in my own brain that if a doctor doesn’t want to do surgery, maybe they won’t be talked into it? If a doctor has done surgery on a sick child’s brain, you’d have to be unlucky for that doctor to do brain surgery for no apparent reason. If I wanted to hurt a child, especially one of my own, I’d not try to make it need brain surgery out of all things, because it’s rather easy for a doctor to tell whether he/she needs that surgery, and whether or not I’m causing that need to arise. So I don’t think that this lady would be trying to hurt her sick child. Why doctors believe anyone they listen to without first finding out the whole story, is absolutely beyond me. My wishes are with this person. I read her CaringBridge site all the time, and it’s no good that some people still think the kid isn’t as sick as her mother thinks.

Ok… I’m getting myself a cup of coke. And I’ve just rang Bruce. We’re gonna see Noelene this week! I’ve kept away from her while the bugs were going around, so while this cold is behaving itself and dying away, I’ll visit her before the next one turns up. I’ve got a bit of that damn cough still, so I think I’ll clear my throat an hour before being picked up, or if I’m out at the time, I’ll just buy a coke to wash all the phlegm down and make myself not need to cough. It’ll be nice to say hi. Oh no! Troy: What am I going to do with Troy if I’ve got him with me when I get picked up! Oh no. Oh crap crap! After finding out that the hospital reception can’t legally look after him because of patient admission rosters and stuff like that, it means I’ll probably have to stay outside the room with Troy, or tie him to a chair and leave the chair outside the room. I don’t want Troy near Noelene unless the doctors allow it, and I greatly respect doctors’ regulations. It’s one thing to want your own dog with you, and another thing to want your dog with you while visiting someone else. Noelene will most likely be upset for a while if she doesn’t see Troy, but again I’ll have to explain to her that it’s because of what the doctors want to keep her healthy. I bet she’ll straight away ask the doctors to let her pat him! If they say no they say no. I honestly want them to say yes, but I don’t even want Noelene to get some sort of infection from floating dog hair, let alone the doctors. It’s a pity I have to be a bit mean to be kind. It’s all about getting Noelene back on her feet! I can’t wait for that day to arrive.

I feel bad for Bruce. He’s been in the wars of late. Now I know why he has been keeping more to himself. Poor fellow, now I’ll be secretly praying that he comes good again every single day until it happens. It’s not as if I’m like this just for him. I’ve been praying that me and Mum can get along a bit more, so that we’re not putting each other down. Being told that lunch isn’t so exciting, and that it’s not getting me a job, is pretty demeaning to me. I demean Mum too, so it’s not just her that’s doing it. All the same, things like “Well you’ll be too old one day anyway”, “Yeah whatever! You always try to look good, all you want to do is help me for your own agenda”, this and that. Some of it is true, but the way it’s said and for what reason, isn’t so right. The exaggerated parts are just wrong. It’s all about who can win the argument then, instead of actually saying, “Look I don’t really care about that, let’s get these other points straight!” Anyway, I want me and Mum to not be giving each other put-downs and rubbish statements, and I want Bruce to get better, and I want Melinda to get healthier like she wants to be. I want to do this business course with not to much trouble, but I don’t need to be told that if I can’t do something, it’s because I’m disabled so work with my limitations, when there should be someone who can actually teach me how to do more than just be blind! I know I’ve got limitations, but being told that no tutors can’t read this and that info, no I can’t do all this research because if I can’t be independent, then too bad if I fail from lack of ability to find info, is just disgusting. If I can’t find info and then someone helps me so that I can do my own assignments and other homework, wouldn’t that be me still working independently, besides someone physically reading stuff I can’t even see anyway? My disability officer is a real dork, that’s all I can put this situation down to.

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