18 January, 2018 10:58

January 18, 2018

A quick blog. I rang Guide Dogs today. I’ll try them again later. I want to keep away from most neighbours as well. I need time to myself and I also need to set myself up for some kind of life away from here. I need happy people in my life. I need to be walking around as well, not just sitting around.

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Changes

January 17, 2018

Well, back to Guide Dogs it is! Centre Care is concerned to high heaven about me, so they got a case from me with some reasonable proof that I won’t go off the beaten track. I bring trouble to those who bring trouble to me, so Centre Care is making sure I change my program schedule to make myself comfortable quick smart. They’re not concerned about how I change my life, the management just wants a good outcome for me, and if push comes to shove, they’ll take over the case. In a few years as it appears now, I’ll be packing up and moving if my life doesn’t improve here. I can’t improve if I’m not comfortable so the environment and the people around me needs rearrangements too. Things like orientation lessons, excursions and travel training with GDQ, better friends and general happiness, for a start! If it doesn’t work out here, I’ll be relocating and will make my life work. Nobody else will do it for me. I’ll be putting Centre Care and GDQ on my NDIS plan and that will be it. N
o more of this high school shit and missing out on outings because of disorganised management. I know mistakes happen, but some mistakes aren’t excuseable, so take this how you will. I should never have left GDQ in the first place, but what happened, happened. As for not drinking enough water ang getting sick with other problems, it’s a whole crock of shit and never to ever, fucking be repeated!!!!!!! Not. Frigging. Tolerated! I don’t care about the circumstances, hot or God damned bloody cold!!!!!! Just, don’t get sick from heat stroke and dehydration. And try to avoid other bacterial infections at any cost. GDQ is a lot more professional and any complaints are taken seriously and resolved within two days or less if they’re minor, and if it’s a very serious complaint, it’s sorted within a month. I’ve never had major difficulties with GDQ, personal grievances yes, but not actual serious complaints about the company itself. VA is good in many ways too. There’s just a lot lack
ing as well and I must say they’ve lost points and the way complaints are handled within a group environment is shocking! I think it’s my fault how I’ve made my life, should never have left GDQ no matter how much I hated arguing with people on rare occasions! At least the fucking disagreements were resolved with a fair hearing! I should really get a kick up the booty for this shit! Humanity is no excuse either. We wouldn’t forgive humans for killing eacher. So why forgive this bullshit? Human error is noot good enough and it NEEDS TO CHANGE!!!!!!!! I don’t believe in mistakes. I didn’t make a mistake. I did what I thought was best at the time.

16 January, 2018 12:13

January 16, 2018

I’m all right today. I didn’t do a whole lot, just some washing and deciding what to do with my life. I will visit Cairns again at some point and then after two weeks I’ll decide if I come back here or stay there. I’ll think about my decision when I actually go there.

13 January, 2018 14:34

January 13, 2018

I’ve been reading for the past couple of hours. I’m happy in the unit, the two ugly bastards, J and V are permanently out of my life now. The dirty rotten leaches will be kicked out of the complex one of these days. I have Centre Care and Vision Australia on my side now so I’m fine. The cops told me to keep retreating from the aggressive mother-fucking cow V if she tries her shit again, instead of fighting back immediately unless of course she’s hurting me and I can’t get away from her except by fighting back. now that does make sense! She’s a cunt and V has committed an unforgiveable sin as far as I’m concerned. Call me stupid but it’s how I see it. The piece of shit pig is as aggressive as a damned frigging chimp so if I hear her accuse anyone of being aggressive, I’ll tell that person to say that she can’t talk because she’s so fucken aggressiive and that she also makes herself look bad by making untrue accusations without finding out the facts first, and also by accusing
people of the same behaviour she is acting out herself. Anyway, a friend is here so I’ll write more later.

4 January, 2018 14:00

January 4, 2018

I”m having an awesome day! Yesterday wasn’t too bad either. Me and my support worker talked a lot for two hours, not a very productive afternoon I must say. Then I went to the shops, got some groceries and came home. I’m a little concerned that my support worker is becoming overbearing, I will need to sort this out before the issue gets worse. She’s starting to mind in to my business and lifestyle and it’s not part of her job description. She’s not allowed to let me get hurt, but she is also not allowed to overstep her boundaries. Talking to her isn’t working, so I’ll need to put in a complaint, something I dislike strongly, but I won’t accept busybody or pryingstcontrolling behaviour. Tell me what you think and what you’d suggest, but excuse me, bossy and possessive attitudes are not on! I understand the support worker isn’t well and she does do a great job with helping people. But that’s no excuse to carry on.

Besides my ongoing problems with my support worker, I’m ok. I think my physical health is good, but my mental health is bad. I don’t hold it against anyone, except of course V’s horrible treatment towards me which thankfully I can ignore now and she no longer bothers me because I can step back from what she’s doing knowing I’m not responsible for her, and I’m not obligated to help her or respond if she tries to speak to me. But anyway, besides that my mental state isn’t the best, and restricting my lifestyle and shopping trips isn’t helping with the situation. And I’ve seen it again: lack of understanding from disability workers, of how hard is is for people with any disability let alone vision impairment, to struggle with life every day. Blindness is a sensory disability. But for someone to make such harsh remarks about how blindness is only sight loss, not other physical disabilities, makes me realise how uncaring many people are. That doesn’t mean babying blind people. Not at all. What this does mean is don’t downplay visually impaired people’s feelings or psychiatric state. Frankly I think a lot of people are in the disability sector for the pay packet, which is disgusting! And many of these people aren’t client-focused either. Another mark crossed off.

I know in myself I’m a human being of value, so don’t get me wrong. But remarks from lots of people, makes me feel like because I can’t see, my emotions and physical health don’t matter; so long as I appear happy and fine, don’t really worry about what isn’t said. Obviously there’s gray areas to all of this, people can’t know everything. But if all I say is “I’m fine thank you”, or “I’m ok thanks! How are you?”, on the one hand I know that people can’t be aware of what I don’t tell them. But then, I figure that maybe what I don’t say would not be of any concern, so if I did say I’m a bit under the weather, of course most people hope I’m all right. But when it comes to struggling with problems on top of being blind, all of a sudden this is a different story and my feelings and emotions don’t matter, I’m happy and healthy on the outside, so feeling really shitty isn’t of any concern whatsoever because blindness and problems are just that, problems. Never mind the fucking crap that goes with such issues. Hmmmmm…….. Oh well…. That’s most people for you. So I suffer in silence because I can just keep looking “fine”, a hundred percent of the time, knowing that in reality it’s not the case. I feel sooooooooooooooo disallusioned with this world. Right or wrong, I’m responding to the world like I am based on the impressions I get from people. Ok, so I can’t be certain about everything either. But unless I know differently, or I can be proven differently about my given impression of situations or people, I won’t change my behaviour or my opinions.

I’m going to the Link Vision gym this arvo. A good escape away from reality for an hour. Then back upstairs to my air-conditioned unit. Tonight after dinner I’ll be reading all evening, and most likely all day tomorrow. I also need to edit my blog. I deleted my Audioboom account months ago so I need to remove all the posts with dead links in them. Now that will keep the boredom away for ages! I’ll be making a big feed tonight of sausages and vegies. I need to use up some of what’s in the fridge and in a few days I’ll do a bit more shopping and next Monday I’ll be making seafood marinara in the afternoon when a Centre Care worker comes around. I have to sort out my NDIS stuff at some stage so I can get more hours with a support worker. If I find out that NDIS funding won’t guarantee a change in disability services quality, well I don’t know what I’ll do. I just can’t see any logical sense with the way the world governments are working things out. I think, whether I’m right or wrong and I don’t care—that governments around the world are designing policies in such a fashion that the agents who work for them have to control the people they’re paid to help. I know that sounds bloody crazy, but this is my honest opinion right now. It’s not the Government’s fault that I have problems; everybody has problems. But I certainly blame the Government for the unhappiness of many people. I strongly believe that my hopeless and despairing state is because I’m a grown woman with too many busybodies in my life and I need to say, goodbye and no more nonsense, to them. I’m not against everyone in the world, just some people, and most medical professionals. But besides all that, life in this unit is fine, I have lots of snack foods and different beverages and cold water, so generally speaking I’m pretty well perfect. Just a few areas of my life which are thoroughly pissing me off to no end but I’ll sort it out so hopefully all good.

2 January, 2018 20:33

January 2, 2018

I was gonna write an entry last night but decided to wait till today because I was tired. I had a boring day today and yesterday. I went to the shops in the afternoon and got a whole heap of stuff because the pantry was so neglected for most of the year! All sorted now, only a few odds and ends to get now and 2018 should be off to a good start for me. I dumped another useless friendship so I’m all good as far as I’m concerned. The weather is hot most of the time now, against what some people go on about drinking too much water/other fluids, I drink it anyway. It doesn’t hurt to get a doctor’s check if I think I’m going strange so I drink as much as I wish every day, don’t feel too strange or weird, so I’m not too bad and I’m assuming that there’s no limit to how many beverages and water I can drink so long as I give myself time to process it all. Exercises at the Link Vision gym starts up on Thursday this week so I’m excited already. Vision Australia outings start next Friday so I seriously can’t wait!!!!!!! V will be attending the outings too so I’ll simply not speak to her. After the way she has treated me with so little remorse or guilt, she can go to hell and fuck herself. What V won’t know is, I’ll be secretly mentioning her suicidal shit at some stage because I won’t be helping her. I hope she’s kept alive so she can be bloody miserable until she’s ninety because she damn well deserves it. She’s a bloody horrible bitch! Her and J both need to stop being so fricken pathetic! The sooner both of them leave these units, the better. Nobody around here wants to go near J and V so why do they continue to live here? They do nothing but create drama and cause trouble.

I have my support worker picking me up tomorrow afternoon. A good break away from home. I want to go to the Sushi Train, then after that I have to go to the Queensland Blind Association to sort out my membership paperwork. Then I’ll be bringing home fish and chips for tea, possibly. I may change my mind. On second thoughts I’m better off ditching the take-out food altogether for a while. I have a tonne of vegies in the fridge so sausages may end up on the menu tomorrow night. I need to set some meals aside for the freezer anyway. Hmmmmm… Will have to set up some dinner plans tomorrow. I was going to have pizza for dinner tonight but I had a big meal earlier so maybe I’ll just hide away in my unit and just tell the neighbour that I needed to go to bed, when I wake up in the morning. I hate take-away food anyway. I like fish and chips and Chinese food but that’s about it. I’d much rather home-cooked food.

It’s now 8 o’clock tonight. I interrupted my blog this afternoon so I could organise an outing with a friend. I wanted to get us fish and chips but the cab driver found out that the shop was closed and reopens on Thursday. So I got us some cold meat and salad instead, came home and made sandwiches. Then I called up another mate, found out he’s off to a dinner outing so I’ll ring him again tomorrow night. So overall today went fine. Very hot but I stayed in the cool airconditioning at my unit and also the neighbour’s unit. I ate quite a lot of food today and drank gallons of water and orange juice because the weather makes me excessively thirsty, like sticky and dry mouth and eything. I drank a big lot of water this morning so when I got thirsty again by a bit after ten, I drank two big cups of orange juice. Tonight I piled on the water again so i’m all right now. I was going to go for a walk to the shops this afternoon but that never happened beecaus storm ethreatened to swoop but never came. So now I’m lying in bed ready to go to sleep. I’ll read for a while first of course.

31 December, 2017 13:15

December 31, 2017

Ok. I’m in a text message window to write my blog. I have figured out that if I press Spacebar with dots 4-5-6 on my BN, the cursor focus goes to the Return key and I can type a new line without having to use the Word Press app. When I’m in the app I can just press the two right-hand thumb keys to make a new line, but in a text message window, pressing these thumb keys together causes the message to send. I just find post text messages way easier to compose and post. I’m still keeping my blog app on the phone so I can read posts a lot better, easier than going into Safari to do so—but when it comes to writing a post, texting is magic. Then if I want to send it, I can press the two right-hand thumb keys and it will atomatically send the message as a blog post. Now withthe boring stuff out of the way, let’s delve in to today’s entry!

This morning I had a cup of coffee and some toast with melted cheese. Then I went to V’s place, which is only three mitres away if you take a shortcut. Trying to explain this to doctss who don’t live here let alone know what this place looks like is a different story. Suffice to say, I hope the events of October never repeat. Dehydration and Gingervitis and other little problems can certainly create hell for you. Anyway, I went to her place, had a very frank discussion about my friendship with her and J. Names are kept as initials for anonymity. she didn’t like what I had to say. I told her how she’s not a true friend to anybody because she uses people for what they can get, especially where money is concerned. Then I told V that I know that it’s true that her and J only like me to my face, but really they hate me. V couldn’t believe that I could bluntly say that both of them dislike me behind my back! I used the word “dislike”, in order not to sound so harsh by the way. Then I wanted to know what J was on about when he rang me last night and said in a very grumpy tone that he was organising a party outside V’s place tonight. V said she had no idea he had called, then admitted that he wouldn’t allow her to call me any more so she did what he instructed. I said well, since J doesn’t want V to be my friend any more, I’d go since that’s how he wants it. I said goodbye, so V said ok if I want to be like that—to which I quickly interrupted and said sternly that no, I didn’t want to be her friend because of not wanting to be her friend, it is because J doesn’t want me to be her friend. The fact that V admitted that J doesn’t want her to speak to me because he decided that I simply didn’t want to be their friends any more and she believed him, so severely offended me that I will no longer forgive her, or J for that matter. He deliberately lied to her to show disrespect towards me for keeping to myself for two days. When I told V that J makes up her life and decides what she will and won’t do, she called me a cow as I stormed out. V can get fucked and so can J because I thought I was helping them out, and all they ever did was disrespect and abuse me, and use my friendship with them. They obviously never meant to be my friends really. Next time J speaks to me, I won’t acknowledge him or give in when he puts on the crocodile tears and fake apologies. As for being booted out of here, V and J are none of my concern so where they end up in whatever state of mind is no skin off my nose. I have so much wrath against them now that any carry-on shit they create won’t even move me to any type of emotion or tears or anything. I find it peculiar how V asked me if I only like nice people in a terribly smug tone. Hmmmmm, no wonder only her mother and father tolerated her while everyone else avoided her like the frigging plague. Sorry to burst her bubble, but I won’t tolerate her either. I can’t see a fucking black sky let alone a star, yet I still understand how fucked up V is. I don’t have an issue with the fact that she struggles a lot, I struggle too—not that she could give a damn shit about that! It’s her fucken stupid self-entitled demanding bitch attitude that gets me. V complains about her sorry arse while conveniently dismissing her dirty rotten behaviour and attitude. She is just so bloody rude and disrespectful. I can’t stand the fucking bitch. She hates people for being stingy and this that and the other, but she’s no different. Typical fucking hypocrisy at it’s finest!

Wow! I’ve just figured out how to use the Rotor to edit my blog properly. It took a while, but I’ve finally worked out how to use the editing settings in the Rotor so I can keep track of where the cursor is on my BN without always having to use Voice-over. when it comes to finding extra spaces and blank lines, VO helps a lot. But other than that, I can edit documents very easily now. Anyway, back to where I left off: I left V’s place an hour or so ago, so God knows if I’ll ever have anything to do with J or V again. I really detest both of them and when they get kicked out I’ll be chucking a great big party! I’d prefer to keep to myself, and I don’t want to share food to the two feral bitches again. I know for a fact that the only reason V and J were my friends in the first place, is just so they could get something. They really didn’t give a shit about me. And because I took power away from them by keeping to myself for two days, V and J decided presumptiously that I’m not their friends. Well stuff them!!!!! so… what they mean is, I’m only a true friend if I hang around them so long as they don’t have to respect my space or my wishes. Well, I guess that pair aren’t my real friends, so today I have dumped them and will make new friends. This is my blog post for now, more later.

30 December, 2017 20:39

December 30, 2017

Well here I am today, quite a few months after writing my last post. many times of late, I considered that I may never write in here again. But every time such thoughts crossed my mind, I immediately interrupt myself abruptly, knowing that I didn’t create this blog back in 2009 for nothing! So here I am in my room using my Braille Note to write. My anneaiversary of moving here was a few days ago, December 15. I left on the train from Cairns on December 14th, 2016, and arrived to my new unit the next day, December 15. Although since then I’ve had a few problems and health scares, I won’t look back and I must say I’m very glad I’ve moved to thi’s complex. I dislike most of the people in this place, but it’s not new for me to hate the neighbours. I’ve made a few changes with my Centre Care g’roup excursion program, but other than thaeat, all is pretty muceah the same.

I’ve just downloaded the Word Press app onto my phone after accidentally sending the post too early, so let’s see how I go now. So life is pretty much the same as it was, but I feel a lot healthier today than I did three months ago. I had a few dentist appointments after suffering from dehydration back in October, had a few dramas with the dentist apts too. Even on valium I can’t handle the vibration of tools and the build-up of fluid in my mouth so I start spewing after a while. The good news is I’m getting better at handling the dentist each time, something I’d never achieve without valium. The dentist reckons that my mouth is very small so it’s hard for her to fix my teeth properly, and although I choke sometimes, spewing up is more than likely caused by my mouth already irritated by gum disease. That makes sense to me. I hardly spewed last week so that’s a plus. I thought the nerve-block that was injected into my mouth was a great help too, sometimes pain can trigger vomiting as well. So with almost all the pain taken away, I got my teeth cleaned and polished without too much of a problem. A slight gag here and there but that was nothing compared to my other two appointments!!!!!! I will keep taking the valium for each appointment. I have to get rid of all my wisdom teeth next year so when they’re out, there may be more room in my mouth to fix the rest of my teeth. I can’t have most pain medications so when I wake up from surgery I won’t know whether I’ll be sedated for a while, or if they can give me a few medications and then some anti-inflamatories, or whatever the case. Maybe I can get away with having a nerve blocker injected every day. I don’t know. There will be no pain relief at home though, unless you can count Panadol which stops fever and makes me a little tired and that’s it. I hope I don’t leave the hospital until I’m comfortable enough to eat properly. This can take between two days to a week or longer, but what counts is comfort at home. I can’t see any dramas happening, I’ll ask for sedatives if I do encounter difficulties because if I can stay carefree and happy while I feel sick, I cope a lot better even if reality is horrible.

I’ve got my health under control heaps better and my disgusting other health i’ssues have been resolved, and my mouth is a lot better too. I’ve been reading a hell of a lot lately so I’ve been keeping out of trouble lol! I’ve been getting very depressed the past three days because I haeave no idea how my mouth surgery will work out; basically I may be reasonably happy and cope well enough, or maybe it will 1ba horrible eexperience for me. Not knowing either way is the worst part, I’m just so glad I’ve got a massive book collection in my phone! iBooks is like the best book reading app ever! I can’t stop reading for the whole day once I start. I’ve taken a break so I can write my blog because it’d be a massive downer to neglect such an awesome blog after working on it for so long. Now my Braille Note has died so I’m typing on the phone. I just think translating print into Braille is so convenient! I guess I’ll have to plug my Braille Note in and read the display through a plastic bag over my hand so I don’t feel the pins jiggling with the electric current when I read. There we go! The plastic bag trick works. When I’ve finished writing my entry, I shall go back to iBooks for another two hours and sleep veeary well after that. For some reason, the pins are attracted to my fineagers but not the plastic. But when the BN isn’t plugged into electricity, I don’t have a problem with the pins jiggling when I brush my hands across them. At least I can still write normally. Besides all the bullshit that has happened this year, I’m still ok, and the year’s end could have been a lot worse.

A few dramas but doing mostly all right…

September 13, 2017

I finally have some spare time to write out a nice long blog. I nearly put off writing but I know I’d have never gotten around to it for sure, as usual. Yesterday and today went ok, today was a much better day than yesterday. Neighbour dramas, and pressing charges against someone I know, is all I can say about that. I’ve really had enough of the human race, save for the few good people who contribute to this world and society, so I’ve decided to put my foot down, dig my heels in, and say that’s it, enough is enough! People will no longer get away with walking all over me. I know I wrote such shit years ago; honestly though it’s gotten to the point where I’ve had to pull the finger out, and start fighting back for a change. No more ‘oh, well, bugger it. Someone else can deal with this. I hate fighting so let someone else pick up the pieces6’ No, not anymore. This is my life, I’m not letting anyone else ruin me. Yes I will protest, hide if I must, because I’m not interested in dramas. But I will fight back and say to hell with the troublemakers. The good news is I’ll be going back on Vision Australia outings now that I’m putting some things right. A bloody frigging shit-fight to boot, but I’m not prepared to tolerate any rubbish when I get involved with their excursions and other activities again. I’m sure the Centre Care people will be glad as well. What I can’t tolerate about some people is telling them to back off and trying to deal with the situation civilly, but said people seem to think I don’t mean what I’m saying, make up some excuse or lie to cover up their wrongdoing, and then act like nothing is wrong, all while sneakily creating trouble and hardship for me. What fucking low-life scum! You’d think that nicely saying, ‘hey that’s enough! Stop it6’ or some such thing would get the message across, but no you’ve kinda gotta threaten people and all sorts of dramatic crap to make said person wake up to reality. For God’s sake just be respectful and maybe you won’t get into hot water in the first place! Hello? How dumb can some people get? I’ve really had it really. I’m going to have as good a time as possible this week because next week is going to be a bumpy one. Having to relive some shit that I’ve avoided for the past five weeks because I’m hiding from someone, is really freaking me out. I’d much rather run away and forget about horrible people. But when I’m questioned by other people, at first I’m like no, just forget it, I’m avoiding situations where the people I don’t like are in, so I can avoid them so stuff it and move on. But… Nope, I was made to remember all the bullshit, and yeah it’s not nice when I have to say ‘yep I’m hiding because yeah, reality fucking sucks.’ I like to hide from reality so I don’t have to deal with it. This feels so much like a God-forsaken nightmare that I can’t wake up from. The moment when you wish that what happened is just a dream, only to realise that it’s not a dream, and hiding and pretending that everything is fine doesn’t last forever. You can tell someone, yeah I’m fine, just forget it, but then reality slap as you decide you’re better off ratting out your nemesis before your issues get worse, or before they hurt someone else. I can tell people how much I couldn’t care less and just move on, but that idea doesn’t work for long either. I really hate drama and I really hate low-life people who live a life of causing as much damage as they can without getting caught. I just can’t believe people like that exist. I am full of disbelief right now. But it doesn’t change reality and it doesn’t delete all the shit so yeah, sometimes life sucks.

So besides yesterday being dramatic, and today having to revisit some other issues which I now have to bring to light so that someone can’t make life miserable for anyone else as well, I’m not too bad. I had a coffee and some vanilla slice, talked to my support worker and walked through a shopping centre. I read for a while, had a good feed for lunch, and booked myself in for a Vision Australia meeting next Thursday. QLD Police will be giving a talk, so if there’s time to do so, I will be addressing some very very serious safety issues where blindness is concerned. I truthfully believe locking myself away is reasonable. The world isn’t safe, and to hell with anyone who carries on about letting people win by staying in hiding. They obviously have no idea what it’s like to be in danger. I have every right to defend myself, and if I want to keep away from the outside world, that’s my choice. I don’t think it’s wrong to hide. I think it’s fine and good to avoid every possible bad situation, but as for going on with the attitude that people are winning if they can control how you live? That’s a God damned cop out. Survival is more important than trying to act better-than and bigger-than. Self-defense is all about preserving yourself any way you can, and physically fighting back when all else fails. To me, life is all about winning against the odds and waking up each morning to hopefully another good day. On that note, I’ll be putting my feet up and calling it a day. Tomorrow is a new day, the Link Vision fashion show sounds exciting so I can’t wait to go! I’ll just forget about next week’s fucking dramas until next Monday. I’ll then write down a million notes and everything so I can turf the fricken dickhead who caused a lot of dramas this year.

9 September, 2017 19:51

September 9, 2017

Wow…… Just… Wow!!!!!!! I haven’t written in here for soooooooo long! I don’t know how much I can write in an entry tonight, but here goes: So a whole lot of stuff has happened. I decided to revisit my YouTube channel, and have got video uploading working to a T. So that problem is off my list. Secondly, I’ve been going out with Centre Care every week, besides issues with some people, the excursions and driving tours are just. So. Awesome! I absolutely love the trips. I’ll be continuing on with this program. As for going on excursions with Vision Australia, I won’t go with them anymore. Too many unresolved issues with some people, one of whom is a God damned creep and I have no idea why he can’t be booted out of Vision Australia altogether, but there you go. Until VA improves their system for dealing with creeps, I won’t go on their outings. At least Centre Care takes complaints very seriously. Besides that all is well there.

I’m still going well here. I’m growing to hate most of the neighbours, but I guess that’s just how it is. My support worker from VA has similar problems as me and is hoping I won’t try to take legal action at least at this stage. I will be talking to Centre Care on Monday though, There are some safety issues as a result of a person’s behaviour and it seriously needs to be addressed before someone gets hurt or whatever the case. I think Centre Care is lovely, and for someone to taint the company’s quality of care is attrocious. The support workers are so nice and one of the clients (people who’re elderly and/or have disabilities) is putting a lot of pressure on these particular support workers, who’re being forced to make once-in-a-while mistakes. It’s fucked up and I don’t want to hear of care workers getting into strife over a beligerent/disrespectful and unruly person. Bossing carers around to the point of taking over their tasks especially where driving is concerned, is not on and I will cut it short ASAP and swiftly. Said person also attempts to force me to do what they want me to do as well, and although their bossy ways aren’t physicaly harmful for me, the point is, X is very controlling and beligerent and I can’t stand them. A safety issue regarding our bus occured today due to X’s behaviour so I’m sorting this shit out before X does cause harm in some way. I know care workers legally have to keep clients happy and comfortable even if what people choose to do isn’t always agreeable, but when carers are put under so much pressure that X can get away with almost anything with lack of regard and respect for other people, and safety is eventually disregarded as well, ah, nope, cut it out. I told the support workers how I felt so they said they’d keep X under better control as well. Very good as far as I’m concerned!

I’ve just put some chicken strips in the oven. I’ll be eating while I read. The heater is on so I’m nice and warm. I’m amazed that it’s spring and yet the weather is still very wintery especially overnight! I hope I won’t have a massive power bill this month. Oh crap before I forget! Said person as discussed above, also medals in other people’s discussions, especially if it happens to be an argument, when X isn’t even involved in the situation! X compared me and my horrible neighbour who lives in this block of units with one another, when X doesn’t even know the circumstances! The II (intelectually impaired) bloke who lives nearby, he has no concept of the gravity of the circumstances, to him it’s just a fight. He lives independently when he should be living in a higher care facility, but that’s a different story. So, not only is this person getting the boot, II fellow will be getting put away if he doesn’t tow the line too. As for said Centre Care client, there’s going to be serious shit going down soon. But oh well, the chicken strips are baking away as I write, and I had to turn the heater off and open doors and windows to let the smoke out. so now all is well. When I turn the oven off, the heater will go back on. I don’t want my unit to get freezing cold and I also didn’t want the smoke alarm to go off. So far, so good at the moment, and the chicken strips are smelling delightful! I don’t know if eating chicken strips while using my Braille Note to read will be the brightest idea, but will see how it goes. Oops, phone battery is about to die so will stop writing for now and put my phone on charge. I will write another entry very soon.

29 July, 2017 14:26

July 29, 2017

Bacon and eggs #TenPoints!

3 July, 2017 21:25

July 3, 2017

Gym Part 2

Test

July 3, 2017

Going down to the gym

Frustration with my blog

July 3, 2017

I haven’t written in here since February!!!!! Wow where has the time gone? I know a lot has happened since then, namely some health issues which thank God aren’t permanent and I’ve fully recovered from them! I’m ecstatic about that!!!!!! I still cough a lot but haven’t developed breathing problems and I haven’t gotten worse so all good there too. I’m trying to find out how to put voice memos from my iPhone into my blog but apparently that won’t work, which really sucks. I like writing but sometimes I like to do audio recordings for the world to hear as well. I also don’t wanna pay hundreds of dollars a year just to keep a blog, and having to move my site to a domain would waste my time too because I still can’t put voice memos into my posts. So either way, I’m stuffed!

I’ve been reviewing my disability services so I can get my private cleaning agencies off my back. I’ve had the worst time of my life with finances this year! So I’ve cancelled the cleaners a few days ago and will have them spring-clean the place once a year. I’m hoping I can get disability agencies on board ASAP so I can save a tomne of money. I also have to stop going out with friends all the time, it’s perfectly okay for them to expect me to hang out with them but they forget or don’t care, that sometimes this is to my expense. If my friends care about me so much they’d actually help me a bit more by not expecting me to have to go out with them all the time! They are really quick to say ‘hey let’s go out for tea!’ While forgetting that I might not actually be able to afford to go out for tea tonight. And if I say, ‘no thanks, I might just stay home if that’s alright?, the two people I always hang out with, get all sad because they miss my company. Well sometimes they need to respect the fact that I don’t always want to go out whenever they want to go out, and if these people seriously want me to hang out with them, maybe they should just pay for my outing sometimes since I can’t always pay my way and if I could do so, I would. The fellow with intellectual issues, he doesn’t understand that he can’t always pay for me when I go out, but protests anyway if I choose to stay home. His totally blind girlfriend loves my company too. Sometimes I just like to stay home and at other times I just can’t afford to go out. This week I’ll be going to a strawberry farm with Vision Australia and also a really nice Mexican restaurant. Other than that I can only afford to buy groceries. The night outings with Vision Australia are once a month and Friday outings are each week during the day and sometimes at night. They’re awesome! And when another disability agency takes me on, I’ll be doing more of their group outings and hopefully I should get back to normal with how I live my life.

Test Recording

July 3, 2017

6 February, 2017 14:03

February 6, 2017

I had a boring day today. It was a good break after yesterday. Two friends stayed over on Friday night and all of yesterday. They left in the afternoon and I cleaned up the house and relaxed. I spoke to another friend, then me and Tori spoke on the phone for ages. I started to fall asleep, so I hung up the phone and slept for the night. I woke up this morning, laid around for an hour, got out of bed, and enjoyed a good feed of Special K Advantage and a cuppa coffee, while doing an Audioboom recording. I did a few recordings, and tried to do a recording of me cooking dinner tonight when Tori rang me. So she’s doing a blog, now I’ve decided to do a post because I haven’t done one for a few days.

Tonight’s dinner was perfect! Sausages with vegetables in cheese sauce, with pasta shells. I really loved it – had two servings. Yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!! Who says you don’t get excitable when eating a feed! Eating can actually be a fun thing to do. I put a container of it in the freezer and another container in the fridge for tomorrow. I have almost a dozen other meals in my freezer that I can divide into smaller portions and have boiled vegies with those. Wow I’ll survive every day for sure! Then I can prepare a shopping trolley for Woolworths Online next Tuesday. I love the online store. I won’t shop with Coles again until they clean up their act.

It’s now 1:30 in the afternoon. I couldn’t finish my blog post last night. I can’t talk and write at the same time. I woke up, had breaky and drank nearly two gallons of water and now I’m sitting on a comfortable couch which my friend brought in this morning. I really love it! It’s a three-seater. I’ve put it where it is and now it’s staying put for now. I did two Audioboom posts today. When I recharge my phone next week, I’ll upload the posts in the app and then I’ll upload my Voice Memo app posts whenever I can get to a Wi-fi zone. I checked the mail today, I got one piece of paper but it wasn’t in an envelope so I’ll read it soon. It’ll take half an hour for me to read the mail I’ve got there. Next week I have to go to the shops and take money out and come home for the cleaners. I love the cleaning service I’ve got currently. When the NDIS rolls out, I’ll be putting them on my funding care plan. I think it’s a load of shit that the TSS card for taxis is going out of circulation, it’s fucked actually. When the NDIS comes around, people will be forced to get funding rather than be given a choice. We’re becoming more Americanised every year and I hate that with a passion. Whatever funding is left over each year isn’t given to us. In other words we’ll be paying for our services with Government funding but we’ll be using our pension money to pay for everything else. In some ways I can see why the Government won’t let us use any of the funding for any other purpose, but in other ways I think they’re ripping us off. The other thing I’m struggling with is, how much do I over-estimate my funding? Like I could ask for too much funding and then I’ll take the next two years trying to decide just how much funding I’ll need. So if I’m given let’s say, $20000 for twelve months, but I only use $10000 of that funding, at the end of 12 months, I’ll have to pay the Government $10000 and change my care plan. My personal opinion is that they should allow people with disabilities to keep left-over funding for themselves every three years, so long as it’s proven that they won’t spend that money on drugs and alcohol and cigarrettes, and that they’re not just stealing it. Or if people can prove that they need the left over funding for a legit reason, then every twelve months, they should have to prove why they need to keep that funding and if they can’t provide a good enough excuse, then fair enough pay it back as required. That’s my view on it. I’ve heard that the NDIS isn’t working in other parts of Australia, so I don’t know what’s with that. Either people aren’t applying for it or maybe people are asking for not enough, or too much funding. Who knows? But when the NDIS rolls out next year, I hope it’s worth all the hassle.

#nsfk vent, and other musings #TodayIsAGoodDay!

January 28, 2017

28 January, 2017 12:16

January 28, 2017

I’m sitting outside with a cup of coffee. I had coco pops for breakfast, then I finished my online shopping order. I have to pay for it on Tuesday morning because Woolworths is different from Coles in that you have to pay for your shopping straight away, then Paypal refunds you if you don’t receive all your order. I think that’s awesome. When I used to pay by credit card, I had to ring Wooleys to get the refund. Now Paypal does that for me. Ând I get a clear notifications from them that I will be getting a refund of whatever price, or that I haven’t got enough money to pay Wooleys. Yeah, I wish I’d set myself up with Paypal years ago! At least I don’t get ripped of now yea! So long as I get my shopping by Wednesday afternoon it won’t matter. I’m quite happy with Woolworths online at the moment. I’ve worked out the layout of their site and I actually find it way better than the Coles site. I don’t know what the Wooleys site is like on the laptop, I’ll check it out when I’ve got a new Internet connection. But for now I’m using the phone for everything and not doing too badly. I think it’s cheaper to get Coles deliveries, but Coles has really shit stuff at the moment. Woolworths is where the market is now so I’m going with them. It’s good too because now I can take care of my own needs and I can help other people in need too. I’m not gonna leave my friends stranded just because I’m doing fine and they’re struggling. I think it’s the most selfish way in the world to live. If I’m not struggling so much, why the fuck can’t I help people sometimes? It’s not as if I’m going without, and if I was struggling, I’d just tell the person that I’m sorry I don’t have said items at the moment and all that. So now that I know I have struggling neighbours, I’ll just continue as I do, but will get more stuff to suit my own needs first, but I’ll always be able to help my neighbours. I’m sure they feel mean for asking for help, but I’d be really upset if they didn’t ask and they went hungry or suffered in some other way. I don’t have a problem with admitting that I can’t help someone, but if I know I can help them but choose not too,, I’d feel like absolute shit. I can’t not help someone when they ask. I don’t care what anyone says, if the person asking for help is in a bad situation, well I’m not going to watch them collapse for my own gain. Get stuffed, I don’t treat people like that. It’s like, my friend is having a really shit time at the moment and can barely survive yet she feels bad about borrowing stuff from me because I’m running out of stuff yet I’ll be getting more groceries next Wednesday yet my friend may need assistance next week again. It’s very sad but it’s how it is. I’m not overloading my friend with things that she doesn’t need, or giving her way too much of what she does need, and all that stupid shit.

I read last night’s blog and it seriously didn’t make a whole lot of sense near the end of it. I was so tired when I wrote it. Basically, I was talking about how impatient I was about getting my dinner ready the other night when I burnt the saucepan lid. And I was also referring to how people use the stovetop to cook food without saucepan lids on and all that. It’s how people are. I can’t stand turning the hotplate all the way up and letting steam go all the way to the ceiling and fucking up my nice clean unit. And I’m fussy about my and boiled vegies. I’d rather turn the hotplate down and let the vegies simmer slowly with the lid on than stand in the kitchen at the stove for 20-30 minutes, saucepan with lid off bubbling away, and sending steam and soot all through my kitchen. Saucepans come with lids, use the bastards. Anyway, there’s always something I don’t like about all of my friends. I still like my friends and I still help them like they help me. As for steaming vegies without a lid on, yeah right! That’s just a waste of electricity and all the heat will go through my place, and the vegies won’t cook the way I like them. And rice: I’m so damn fussy that I’ll only eat rice steamed in a rice cooker. I won’t boil it. Someone else can do that for me. I love making a big batch of rice, then filling up little containers with it, and freezing it. No wastage at all and I can cook rice any time I like as well, knowing that I’ll hardly ever run out of rice and I’ll never throw any of it away. And I can take the rice with me whenever I go out and microwave it for two minutes. Anything to save money lol. And if my friends go hungry they can borrow food and I’ll never go without. I may live how I want and do shopping to suit my lifestyle, but I won’t watch people starve to death. I just had a quick loo break and got another cup of water. That’s the beauty about putting two lime wedges in the big cup, I can refill the cup heaps of times and really enjoy the flavour of the water. It definitely works for me! I’m getting four limes with my next shopping order, and I’ll be buying lemons next time. That way I dont think of the water intake, I’m just thinking of how refreshing it is to swallow a lime flavoured drink all the time. It’s better than suffering from dehydration because I hate plain water. So long as it works that’s all that matters. Like the saying goes: if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it! I’m doing all right in myself, so I won’t complain.

27 January, 2017 22:13

January 27, 2017

I’m in my room. I’m writing as I speak to Tori on hangouts. I have to admit that as much as I hate moving and it’s a struggle and all that, it had to be done. It has been eight weeks since I moved and I still don’t have rent assistance. The office staff are too frigging lazy to help me, they won’t print the form off for me, that’s Centrelink’s job apparently. Lazy fucken bastards!!!!! Anyway, it’s working out slowly. Brisbane has bloody slow workers and everything drags along here. It’s bloody shockin’! Hopefully next week I get the frigging thing. Centrelink online is useless, you can do everything as far as reading and receiving information goes, but unless you have a printer, you’re stuffed. You may as well get rid of the Centrelink account and just ring the mongrels. An online account does have its place, but it doesn’t prevent any of the hassles with Centrelink. Anyone that reckons that having a Centrelink online account makes life easier is delusional. At least I can ring Centrelink and let them know what’s going on and ask them for help. Why does it have to take for fucking ever just to receive a God damn form? I should have been receiving rent assistance money weeks ago. Hopefully I can sort this crap out next week. I can at least relax over the weekend. I won’t do anything on Monday, then Tuesday is all systems go. I have to go to the shops, come home, wait for some cleaners to clean my unit, then if I don’t have the rent form, I’ll be cabbing it to Centrelink. Then on Wednesday the form will be getting filled out at the Link Vision office. I’m hoping the form can be faxed through. I want the bloody flaming money sooner than later. So let’s hope my plans actually work out for heaven’s sake. I have to ring iPrimus as well, to pay that fucker of a cancelation fee. I want to get rid of them. Then I’m saving up to get a new Internet connection. I really want Wi-fi!

This weekend is going to be boring. I may run to the survo for a packet of chips, I have no idea yet. Other than that I’ll be hanging around home and sitting downstairs in the communal area. I’ll be setting up my talking scanner too. I want to read the mail and i hope to God there’s nothing from L J Hooker. I’ve had enough of the shit from Cairns, not living there anymore so I don’t want to hear any of it. I don’t give a crap about the bond money. I don’t want it, I don’t need it. I’m not planning on renting in Cairns again any time soon. So bugger them. Besides that I’m planning on having a great weekend. There’s always people to talk to, and sometimes I go out, but not often. I can’t wait to get a lot more O and M training. I also need to find a good support worker. Hopefully by the end of the year I should have some semblence of an organised set-up for my life. I want to go to Cairns at the end of the year but I have to save money and everything. I’m wondering if maybe I could go to Cairns for a week during the year and see people there, and visit Troy. Then I can just come back to Brisbane knowing that I had a good little holiday. I’ll see what happens. I miss Troy to death! I feel like it has been forever since I said goodbye to my cute puppy dog, and saying hi to a guy and his guide dog the other day made me feel a gazillion times worse about missing Troy. Of course with grief comes accidents… As I nearly wrecked my unit when I left a saucepan lid on the stove while I was cooking dinner and didn’t realise that that particular hotplate was on, so I burnt the plastic bit of the lid and it exploded causing a cloud of smoke to engulf me. I ran outside and nearly passed out while I screamed at the neighbours because I thought the unit was about to burn down. I was scared shitless. Luckily ash and soot didn’t rise from the stove. And my large frying pan was on the low setting so the food didn’t stuff up or burn. So by the time I was ready to collapse and die for the night, I got to eat a really nice spag bog with my friend. I didn’t like having to wait around from 4:30 to 6:00 pm just to sort out a stupid bloody fucken feed, but when you’re getting assistance from friends, you’ve got to accept their schedule and make compromises with people. Oh well, you get idiots and crazies wherever you live I suppose.

musing, pondering, and a boring week ahead

January 27, 2017

a kitchen catastrophe

January 27, 2017

sausages and boiled vegies 2

January 23, 2017

Sausages and boiled vegies 1

January 23, 2017

Lunchtime vent

January 23, 2017

Arriving at the shopping centre, find out what happens

January 22, 2017

Complaining about Coles Online, rambling about other stuff, and making a good feed

January 22, 2017

finishing breakfast

January 17, 2017

enjoying my feed!

January 17, 2017

discussion part 2

January 17, 2017

discussion while waking up

January 17, 2017

breakfast

January 17, 2017

a bit of housework then eating

January 1, 2017

rsponse to @pat.z about Christmas presents and ignorant wheelchair/push chair users on buses

January 1, 2017

chitchat and going to a friend’s birthday dinner #IHadTheTimeOfMyLife!

December 30, 2016

nice homecoming with a twist #helarious #checkitout!

December 30, 2016

a great outing!

December 30, 2016

28 December, 2016 14:38

December 28, 2016

At this time tomorrow I’ll be on the train. I really can’t wait till then, I’m so extremely excited and impatient today! I hate living here, Cairns is fantastic but I hardly ever see the family and my controlling grandparents aren’t pleasant to hang around. They’ve done a lot of good things for the family, but the other side of the coin is, they’ve also been very hurtful and manipulative. Stupid bloody bastards! So yeah, they’re not part of my life anymore. If they harrass me over the phone I’m gonna tell them to quit it and hang up. They expect favours from the whole world after they treat everyone like shit. So tomorrow I’m out and severing ties. And once a year or two I’ll come back to Cairns to visit my other family members.

Another boring day for me today. I’ve done not one healthy activity for the past three weeks. Neglect and abuse right there. The only difference is that some people take their victims into the forest and allow them to die slowly. My grandparents are feeding me enough to survive, but every other aspect of my life is neglected. They don’t care about my welfare, it wouldn’t bother them if I never moved. Their concern about me is that I’m blind and my death will just be a simple thing. Everybody dies. So dying early is just the disabled thing to do, because blind people fit into the disability basket, according to them. But I won’t die early. And my neglect is only short-term. Sitting around like a statue for three weeks isn’t quite so bad, and eating little morsels with the occasional big feed won’t technically harm me badly. But living like the way I have been, for a really long time, is cruelty. I’ll get back to normal pretty fast, I haven’t lived here long enough to cause a lot of damage. I won’t need permission to stay alive, eat drink breathe be a grown woman etc. When thea grandparents see me off, I’m not returning any favours or owing them anything. They certainly haven’t done me any special favours. Moving isn’t a favour. Everybody moves out at some point. If they’re not helping me, they’re controlling and bullying. They can never be happy or appreciative of the fact that I’m moving to a better part of town and they’re not happy people full-stop. So I won’t help them in return for their fucking bullshit ungrateful attitude. I only respect people who respect me.

In Brisbane I’m gonna set up my unit as quick as I can, then I’ll write up a list of Christmas goodies to make next week. I’ll be organising a gathering of friends and making a feast for them. Then I’ll be enrolling myself into some blind sports elubs. I’ll make my choices when I get there, I know I want to play Swish, it’s the modified version of table tennis. I’ll do some demos on Audioboom. As for other games, I have no idea what I’ll go after yet.

I’m back at this blog. I had coffee and chocolate cake, then listened to my tyrant of a grandfather talking absolute shit for an hour. Typical anti-semitic who needs poisoning as far as I’m concerned. But anyway… That’s him. I don’t care if I never see the stinkin’ douchbag again. I’m basically keeping a low profile as much as I can. Obviously I need to sit at the dinner table sometimes, but geeze! Living with two communist wannabes isn’t my thing I must say. I guess I’m too friggen democratic for my own good lol. I don’t agree with just doing as you want in a horrible selfish manner. You can’t go from one extreme to the other. But when it comes to living, well Jesus! You can’t live like a robot can you? Anyway, I’ll be outa dodge tomorra! I’ll let my grandparents know that I’ve got my stuff posted to me. After that they’re bust as far as I’m concerned. That’s it about them. I’m planning on having a great time, anything bad can happen anywhere so I’ll just keep my wits about me but hopefully all will be well. What I will do tomorrow is, eat the train out of house and home. I’ll eat some of my biscuits and all of my malteesers, then I’ll go after all the food in the deli car. It’s highly likely that the staff might try to convince me not to over-buy the food in case of wastage, but I’ll try to get menu choices which I know I’ll eat a tonne of without a problem. Anyway we’ll see how it goes, I’m gonna turn my trip into a minature holiday and a bloody feast. Anyone would think that I’m going to the moon or something! But oh well, good times ahead for me.

It’s a bit over a week now since I moved. I left Cairns on the 14th of December and got into Brisbane on the 15th. Then the old bloke who greeted me, he was so trashy, totally changed from the trustworthy person he used to be. After he left for the evening after helping me take my luggage to my unit, I decided to cut him out of my life. His shameful behaviour made me feel that he doesn’t deserve my time let alone a breath of fresh air. So fucking sad really! Oh well, I’ve made other friends since moving in here. Tomorrow I have to ring Coles Customer Care so they can fix my shopping delivery address, that’s my only issue here. Besides that, I feel great about moving here. The other units that Chass and Hailey live in are nice too, they’re just not as done up as these ones. As much as Public Housing allows pet ownership, I’d personally rather live in a very well-kept unit with only a service animal and no pets. I do love animals but I also love a good home. And the rent is subsidised here, so it’s a lot cheaper than Public Housing units yet the units here are better quality! I have to finish writing now, the phone is really hot.

talking about my unit and how I feel about people trying to run my life

December 24, 2016

Christmas gift

December 22, 2016

buying a good feed!

December 22, 2016

checking out a few things #AwesomeStuff

December 22, 2016

going to a furniture shop

December 22, 2016

waking up and making breakfast

December 22, 2016

me and my mates walking to town

December 22, 2016

Getting used to the layout of the unit grounds

December 21, 2016

I’m in my new unit!!!!!!!!

December 21, 2016

More of my train journey #FunTimes!

December 21, 2016

Getting used to the layout of the unit grounds

December 20, 2016

the train journey begins

December 19, 2016

arriving and getting on the train

December 19, 2016

going to the train station

December 18, 2016

rain over breakfast #boredshitlesshere

December 13, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5388349-rain-over-breakfast-boredshitlesshere

relaxing outside

December 13, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5388278-relaxing-outside

a crappy lunch

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5382376-a-crappy-lunch

helping Nan make rumballs #ItCanNeverBeTheOtherWayAround #ApparentlyImmature #IncapableLikeABaby #TreatedLikeACrippleAndInvalid #IFeelSoUnappreciated #ThisIsNeverHappeningAgain #NeverSpeakingToTheGrandparentsAgainEver

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5382333-helping-nan-make-rumballs-itcanneverbetheotherwayaround-apparentlyimmature-incapablelikeababy-treatedlikeacrippleandinvalid-ifeelsounappreciated-thisisneverhappeningagain-neverspeakingtothegrandparentsagainever

A really lovely time with my aunt and uncle and cousins #HeavenlyParadise #INeverWantToLeave

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5382220-a-really-lovely-time-with-my-aunt-and-uncle-and-cousins-heavenlyparadise-ineverwanttoleave

this is what my grandparents act like when they can’t get me to conform to their way of life or values #BlockThemOut #ThisIsNeverHappeningAgain #LearnFromHistorySoItDoesn’tRepeat

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5382197-this-is-what-my-grandparents-act-like-when-they-can-t-get-me-to-conform-to-their-way-of-life-or-values-blockthemout-thisisneverhappeningagain-learnfromhistorysoitdoesn-trepeat

#anothercontrolledbreakfast #veryfachiesthousehold

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5382019-anothercontrolledbreakfast-veryfachiesthousehold

another #boredTikeOutside

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5381946-another-boredtikeoutside

relaxing outside #boredok

December 11, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5381906-relaxing-outside-boredok

me and Nan setting up Christmas decorations

December 10, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5379246-me-and-nan-setting-up-christmas-decorations

life is very boring at the moment

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376529-life-is-very-boring-at-the-moment

Eating breaky while my grandparents carry on about absolute shit #There’sAGrainOfTruthInEveryStory

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376407-eating-breaky-while-my-grandparents-carry-on-about-absolute-shit-there-sagrainoftruthineverystory

Another boring time at the dinner table and #SixMoreSleeps #LetThePartyBegin!

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376389-another-boring-time-at-the-dinner-table-and-sixmoresleeps-letthepartybegin

My grandmother rearranging my suitcase #NotTheWayIWantItPacked #That’sForSure

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376380-my-grandmother-rearranging-my-suitcase-notthewayiwantitpacked-that-sforsure

Me and my grandfather packing up my things in postage boxes

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376374-me-and-my-grandfather-packing-up-my-things-in-postage-boxes

Going out

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376369-going-out

Slowly making our way home

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376320-slowly-making-our-way-home

Same shit, different day

December 9, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5376035-same-shit-different-day

Dinner and dishes

December 5, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5357433-dinner-and-dishes

Me and Nan cooking in the kitchen

December 5, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5357414-me-and-nan-cooking-in-the-kitchen

Having a coffee with my grandfather #IWishHeWasEasierToTalkTo

December 5, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5357413-having-a-coffee-with-my-grandfather-iwishhewaseasiertotalkto

5 December, 2016 13:42

December 5, 2016

I’m sitting outside after eating lunch and I’m feeling not too bad. Naproxin and Panadol are taking care of the period, so besides eating until almost busting an feelimg the typical menstrual crap and the medication kicking in to make it all better, I’m all right. I’m starting to feel my stomach settle nicely now. So that’s good, I must be doing something right! I hate pain, and menstruation is no exception. But once that shit is taken care of, I can consider my problems done and dusted. Now I just have to think of Brisbane, how the train trip will be, what I’ll do when I get there, all the shit I’ll have to organise on the 15th of December when I first arrive in Brisbane, etc. I’m gonna have a loooooooong two days I can tell you! But at least this is the least of my worries. My biggest worry is being able to keep a low profile while I’m at Nan and Pop’s until I leave. I’m gonna pass out asleep when I get on that train lol! I’m emotionally exhausted. I want to leave already, but I don’t want to spend all my money on accomodation because I need it in Brisbane. A removal van would have gone to the unit by now had Nan and Pop not helped me. But he doesn’t consider that. He’s a fucking one-sided pig is what he is. But anyway, there’s no skin off my nose. He has his problems too. Mum’s a douch bag too. She has the hide to abuse me but she so-called never abuses anyone. What a piece of crap! She makes me friggen sick. But forget about her, she’s not here and she’s not moving out with me.

The weather is fine today. A bit hot but not too bad. It’s nice and breezy. I guess I haven’t got a single thing to worry about. I’m comfortable, full of good food, pain is taken care of really good now, and I can think abou what I need to do for the rest of this week. Not much I’d imagine, nothing ever happens around here. They’re too busy telling me wha and how to think to do anything else. When I’m not here, they sit around doing nothing. Oh well, I’m going to change that when I get to Brissy. A new start in my life! And as much as I love to do audio recordings, I like to write as well. Time just isn’t going quick enough. I want to hurry up and leave. Mum on the one hand, wants to help me, on the other hand she creates a lot of dramas. I’m sick of it. So long as I don’t have to speak to her, it’ll be sweet. She drives me mad. Nan is trying to get her on side as though I’m wrong for moving. Well up all of their noses. I don’t care. I’m not interested in what makes everyone else happy. I want to make my own life happy. I have to learn what it’s like moving, I have to learn what it’s like to sort out a new unit and everything. If I don’t like the experience, then fine!!!! Ok then, let’s see how it goes. But what if I love the moving experience? What if I cope just fine? Anyway, let them work out their own shit and I’ll do what I want to do. Mum and my grandparents can think what they bloody well like. Anyway, I’m all right. Life isn’t too bad.

Me and Nan sorting out a postage box for some of my things that won’t fit in the large suitcase

December 5, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5356195-me-and-nan-sorting-out-a-postage-box-for-some-of-my-things-that-won-t-fit-in-the-large-suitcase

Saying goodbye to the visitors

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5355108-saying-goodbye-to-the-visitors

Part 2

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5355095-part-2

Socialising Part 1

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5355084-socialising-part-1

Grandparents’ friends come over

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5355082-grandparents-friends-come-over

Lunch and a typical lecture

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354696-lunch-and-a-typical-lecture

Another day in the life moment

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354647-another-day-in-the-life-moment

test post with Recorder HQ

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354606-test-post-with-recorder-hq

a 1-sided conversation with my grandparents

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354603-a-1-sided-conversation-with-my-grandparents

a typical breakfast routine

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354571-a-typical-breakfast-routine

boredom at Nan’s place

December 4, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5354530-boredom-at-nan-s-place

can’t wait to get to Brisbane!

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353206-can-t-wait-to-get-to-brisbane

Making coffee for me and Nan

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353180-making-coffee-for-me-and-nan

Mealtime at grandparents’ place

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353172-mealtime-at-grandparents-place

Cleaning up in my old unit, organising my large suitcase

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353154-cleaning-up-in-my-old-unit-organising-my-large-suitcase

By myself at grandparents’ place yea! And sorting out my eye bathing water

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353153-by-myself-at-grandparents-place-yea-and-sorting-out-my-eye-bathing-water

Grandparents find out that I’m moving: and the adventure begins #FamilyInvolvementDramas

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353150-grandparents-find-out-that-i-m-moving-and-the-adventure-begins-familyinvolvementdramas

Brother’s Leagues Club part 1

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353145-brother-s-leagues-club-part-1

Part 2

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353129-part-2

Grandparents find out that I’m moving: and the adventure begins #FamilyInvolvementDramas

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353003-grandparents-find-out-that-i-m-moving-and-the-adventure-begins-familyinvolvementdramas

Organising my new little suitcase and a few other things

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5353001-organising-my-new-little-suitcase-and-a-few-other-things

Chatting over coffee

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5352996-chatting-over-coffee

Sorting out my new suitcase and getting rid of a lot of rubbish, then eating

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5352975-sorting-out-my-new-suitcase-and-getting-rid-of-a-lot-of-rubbish-then-eating

No title

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5352967-no-title

Eating some chicken while talking about moving and the negativity from my mother

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5352966-eating-some-chicken-while-talking-about-moving-and-the-negativity-from-my-mother

testing Audioboom update

December 3, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5352956-testing-audioboom-update

Ready to get out of dodge

December 3, 2016

I’m at my grandparents’ place. Have been here for nearly three weeks. When I leave here on the 14th of December, I will have been here for five weeks. Five weeks too long! I hate it here. Very grateful for their assistance and accomodation, but their lifestyle of my-way-or-nothing-at-all, really bothers me. I can’t wait to leave! As for my poor little gorgeous canary, I won’t write about Whisky. Far too sad. Alive on Friday three weeks ago, dead the next day! That is all. I have to tell the pet shop lady next week, just to be fair. Then counting down to the departure date, although I started my countdown a few days ago when I booked the ticket. I was gonna leave writing blogs till I got to Brisbane, but you know what? I figure that it’s going to be a while before I leave this place so I may as well write to pass the time. I read for nearly forty minutes before coming outside.

I had a garage sale today but not a huge amount of stuff was sold and I made a quarter of the money I expected to make. Oh well… I sorted the stuff out for the unit a few days ago so I’m not too worried about the money at the moment. It’s just one of those things. I’ll have enough money for the first two weeks in Brisbane so all good as far as I’m concerned. Nan and Pop are concerned but when are they not concerned? So the quicker the time flies, the better. It is boring, motonous, and very stupid living here. Fanastic assistance, but a hotel would be better for me if only I’d had the money to stay in one. I don’t really care what anybody says about what I think and feel. This is why I hate involving some people in my life, they’re too busy throwing accusations at me because they can. Anyway, next time which I hope will be a longer stretch than five years let alone two, will be different. I’m living my life and that’s it. How I organise it is my choice. Too bad so sad for the family.

Nearly ready to vacate

November 26, 2016

I’m having a relaxing day today. Chicken and sallad on toast for breakfast, a cup of coffee, water, and soft drink to boot! I re-homed my canary yesterday. He is with my support worker. He is happy. Troy is doing fantastic with his new owners. He’s having the time of his life. And since it’ll be nearly a month before I move to Brisbane, I figured I’d write today. I can text blog posts, so I may as well do so now, it’s easier than going to the website and publishing posts that way. I’ve got my stuff ready to go. It’s not all tightly packed away yet because I still need to function till I get out of here. But instead of taking three days to pack up, it’ll only take me two or three hours to secure everything and take it away from this property. What I can’t take with me, is being sold or binned. All I have to do is post my paperwork and I’ll be set to go. This week I’ll be focused on gathering all my possessions together so it won’t be difficult to ditch/sell them at a moment’s
notice. Then I just have to take my swag and nick off. It’s that simple. The hard part will be hanging around until the real estate says I’m free to go. The day I leave this place will be the day I can think of how to rebuild my life how I want when I’m dowm south. I’ll write more soon.

My mouth-watering beef carbonara #FinallySuccessWithPastaDishes!

November 25, 2016

Going to Dulcie’s friend’s place

November 25, 2016

Having the best time of my life

November 25, 2016

Doing a bit of organising while venting

November 25, 2016

Taxi to shops and back home

November 25, 2016

Eating my chips and some delicious chicken while I talk

November 25, 2016

Making sandwiches and finishing my chitchat after being interrupted by the phone

November 25, 2016

Fixing my cane

November 25, 2016

doing a bit of cleaning up and offloading a whole heap of garbage

November 25, 2016

Serving my dinner

November 25, 2016

Getting ready for a late breakfast and handing my dog bed over to the lady who took Troy in

November 25, 2016

Eating, then hanging the washing, while ranting about my move

November 25, 2016

Preparing a late dinner #Day1WithoutTroy

November 25, 2016

Preparing a late dinner #Day1WithoutTroy

November 20, 2016

Goodbye Troy, hello to my eventual move to Brisbane

November 20, 2016

Eating and contemplating the logistics of my move

November 20, 2016

Last hours with Troy

November 20, 2016

Rant

November 20, 2016

Gathering my thoughts together after not sleeping much

November 20, 2016

https://audioboom.com/posts/5305568-gathering-my-thoughts-together-after-not-sleeping-much

Setting Troy’s things aside for the last time, and tending to my canary

November 19, 2016

Packing up 3

November 19, 2016

Playing around with Recorder HQ to make sure it works properly

November 19, 2016

Starting the packing up 1

November 19, 2016

Contemplating my life decisions and finally ready for bed

November 19, 2016

Packing up 2

November 19, 2016

Getting myself into the process of packing up, complaining about my mongrel neighbours

November 19, 2016

19 November, 2016 12:15

November 19, 2016

Dear Troy,

Your period of time with me: 15 October 2007-20 November 2016
You’ve been the best guide dog ever.. You’ve stayed with me for as long as you can. You lived out nine months of your retirement from guiding duty as of February the 11th, 2016 and you handled your retirement so well that I was actually happy for you to retire. But due to the fact that I’m moving and I don’t want to put you through the stress of moving again and you’re getting older now, you’re going to be looked after by some very loving people tomorrow. You’ll continue to live the high life and steal everybody’s hearts. At least I’ll get to hear about you from time to time, same with the canary when he gets re-homed to another lovely familiar person too. I’ll never forget about you and hopefully you’ll spend the next few years living in luxury. Life just isn’t the same anymore. I may not like cleaning up mess whenever I take you outside, but looking after you and feeding you and cleaning up after you is the least of my worries at the end of the day. You’re the life of the party and you were always in high spirits and happy all the time, you treated every day like a new day, you lived like there was no tomorrow. I couldn’t let you go when you retired, but now I’m left with no choice. You’re one of a kind and even if I did get a new guide dog, no dog in the world would replace you. So I’ll say my final goodbye knowing that you’ll be in a good home soon, I’ll probably never get to see you again but I’ll be thinking of you and finding out how you’re doing and what you’re up to. Good luck and farewell! It was lovely knowing you.

Moving

November 18, 2016

It’s me again. Troy has written his bit, so now it’s my turn. I’m leaving for Brisbane soon. Cairns is a great place in a lot of ways, but on the other hand it’s a real shit-hole now. I’m going to try to move into Link Vision. But if that doesn’t work out, I’ll try to find pet-friendly places there. I won’t be coming back to Cairns when I leave. I don’t want to speak to my family either. If anyone says anything, I’ll just say that it’s better for me to move to Brisbane. That will be it from me. I won’t indulge in arguments or anything. I’m going, and that’s that. I don’t have much of an inheritance, and I don’t want anything for the family. The best way to make me hate my family is for some of the family members to continually abuse me and have big arguments with me while others make sure I’m forced out of house and home. There’s no skin off my nose. I won’t be there for these family members when they need help. And they forget, I won’t be homeless for too long, not long enough to call myself homeless anyway. Goodbye Cairns. And fuck you family. I miss my friends here. But they were only there for themselves too. Save for two people who were really there for me. And some other people from another pet shop who helped me with keeping the dog and the bird well cared for. Over and out, and my next written blog will come to you live from Brisbane. Audio posts will come from Audioboom until then, but I won’t write till I’m in Brisbane, or if I get time, I can write on the train. Anyway, peace out till then.

Troy’s last blog

November 18, 2016

Well, hi guys! Troy here again. I have some horrible terrible news. Something isn’t right with Mum. She is leaving. She knows why but I think she’s leaving for no reason. How can you be forced to leave home? But Mum isn’t allowed to take me to her new home. Ah, that is if they’ll allow her to live there. I like that favourite pet shop lady of mine. She knows how to re-home perfect cuddly dogs. I want to know when I’m leaving. But Mum isn’t disclosing any info. Too sad for her to do so. Apparently I’m just going on a big holiday, but secretly I know the real reason I’m going on a holiday. Mum wants to keep me but I’m not allowed to stay with her. Don’t tell her I said that!!!! So…………. On that note, goodbye guys. Oh, and animals too! Oh I won’t be seeing Whisky anymore. Isn’t he that cute little canary? He’s going to Mum’s support worker. He knows her. It was lovely getting to know you all. Hopefully I can live my life in my new home the same way I do now. Sleep, eat, run around, play….. Eat….. And…… Sleep! If there’s dogs and kids, even better for me. Mum will never like it when I leave, but I really have to go. I’m going to hate it actually, when I realise I can’t see Mum anymore, even though I’ll love where I’m going to live.

Exercising me and the dog #ABumpyRoadAhead #Uncertainty #HecticAndUnpredictableShit #SoGladTheDramaWon’tLastTooLong

November 15, 2016

More chores around the kitchen and letting a few issues off my chest

November 15, 2016

Making a batch of coconut rice and sitting outside for a while with Troy

November 15, 2016

Finishing up with Coles Online, then sorting the clothes out

November 15, 2016

Eating my #AwesomeChickenStirfry then the #HardClean-upJob #SameShovelDifferentDay kind of routine, then a bit of #OnlineWindowShopping

November 15, 2016

Part 2 waffling on while I cook lunch

November 15, 2016

Part 1 preparing to cook lunch

November 15, 2016

Another test with my headset using Recorder HQ

November 15, 2016

Test

November 15, 2016

Eating, playing around with the Coles website, #MyStupidIrritatedThroat, and #NeighbourBurglaryLockdownEndsWellThankGod

November 13, 2016

Another test with my headset using Recorder HQ

November 13, 2016

Test

November 13, 2016

#TestBoom chitchatting and making coffee #HopefullyThisWorks

November 13, 2016

Making a really yummy chicken sandwich

November 13, 2016

Kitchen clean-up and rambling on

November 13, 2016

Eating a delicious feed and clearing up a lot of mess, ready to tidy the kitchen and sorting the dog out for the night

November 13, 2016

Waking up and #LateMorningSoundscape #TroyLovesThePark #ILoveMyLessHecticLife #EnjoyThePeaceWhileItLasts

November 13, 2016

Stuff happening in my life

November 11, 2016

Grocery errand

November 11, 2016

My lovely support worker helping me clean up around the house

November 11, 2016

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